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We Asked 22 Non Scots To React To Photos Of Edinburgh And This Is What Happened. 47 Brilliant, Horrifying, And Bizarre Tattoos Of Celebrities. The 15 Best Graduation Falls. 17 Sexts Ladies Really Want To Get From Their Girlfriends. 37 Joyful Solutions To British Problems, According To Amy Poehler. 44 Baby Animals Doing Baby Animal Things. 29 Parents Share The Weirdest Things Their Kids Ever Did. The 19 Most Impressive Dick Moves of All Time | Cracked.com. 5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy. We all understand that action movies are cheesy escapism. After all, could one commando really take out a whole compound full of bad guys? Actually, yes. It turns out the history books are full of stories of soldiers doing things so badass they'd hesitate to put them into a film for fear of killing the realism.
Like these five, for example. #5. Who Was He? Simo Hayha had a fairly boring life in Finland. Since the majority of fighting took place in the forest, he figured the best way to stop the invasion was to grab his trusty rifle, a couple of cans of food and hide in a tree all day shooting Russians. Can you spot Hayha? Of course when the Russians heard that dozens of their men were going down and that it was all one dude with a rifle, they got fucking scared. They started by sending out a task force to find Hayha and take him out. Then they tried getting together a team of counter-snipers (which are basically snipers that kill snipers) and sent them in to eliminate Hayha. . #4. Exactly. 6 Companies That Rigged The Game (And Changed the World) Living in the age of countless corporate scandals and skyrocketing CEO salaries, it's no coincidence that we've become a cynical bunch when it comes to corporate America.
We've almost come to expect companies to screw everybody over so that their top executives can spend their time buying solid cocaine statues of Gordon Gekko and betting on hooker boxing matches hosted on yachts in international waters. However, sometimes when you see the scheming that goes on behind the scenes, you do have to kind of admire it. Not approve of it, mind you -- just appreciate the kind of balls it takes to ... #6.
Convince the World That a Common Substance Is Rare So, why do you think diamonds are valuable? Most people will probably tell you the same reasons: they're very strong and visually striking, but most importantly, they're rare. Getty"We only have enough for the first several millions of you. " There's only one problem with that: that last one isn't true. Via Wikimedia CommonsThat's one diamond mine. The 24 Creepiest Discoveries People Just Stumbled Into. 22 Ordinary Words With Terrifying Origins. 5 Prejudices That Video Games Can't Seem to Get Over. We've mentioned before that movies still inexplicably revolve around prejudices that we thought we had outgrown decades ago, but that can at least be attributed to the age of the medium.
Movies came into their own nearly a century ago; those prejudices are likely just strangely persistent moral throwbacks. But video games are different, because they're ours, right? There's no reason to inherit our grandparents' bigotry because we made these things up: We've set the standards, we've made the rules and we know that being racist, sexist, homophobic jerkholes is wrong ... don't we? Then how come this stuff is still happening all up in Mario's grill? #5. Sure, there's the occasional obvious racism, like your classic stereotypes -- Barret Wallace in Final Fantasy VII is the only black character, and of course he uses heavy weapons, speaks in broken English and is vaguely homoerotic.
Nintendo.wikia.comIt's like what Hitler probably thought Gypsies looked like. Yep. So What's the Deal? #4. . #3. The 8 Stupidest Defenses Against Accusations of Sexism. I recently wrote an article on hilariously sexist costumes. The article and the resulting comments were like Bruce Banner experimenting with gamma radiation. I was only trying to prove some minor points, but the results made my arguments stronger than I could ever have imagined. These are actual comments from that column's comment section, but you could see them anywhere. Behold, the worst sexism defenses that get used every day on the Internet ... #8. Call the Other Person Gay The Comment*: I didn't knew Luke was gay ... *I won't include their usernames because they'd love that, and because making them write "THAT WAS ME, I WAS THAT IDIOT" in this article's comments will be hilarious. This is equal parts terrifying and disappointing. Universal Pictures... and to hear the lamentation of their women!
The saddest part is how some people still use "gay" as an insult. . #7. The Comments: ... Luke, you sound like you're trying to get laid in a Woman's Studies class. #6. The Comment: #5. . #4. . #3. . #2. 20 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden on Famous Albums | Cracked.com. 6 People Who Had No Clue Their Faces Were World-Famous. Becoming accidentally famous must be an unpleasantly surreal experience. Rebecca Black is the most cited example of the phenomenon these days (as though she was just dancing down the street one day and accidentally passed through a terrible music video) but she's far from the most mind blowing example.
For instance, imagine driving through the streets of, say, Beijing, and suddenly seeing your face on a billboard for instant noodles. Imagine you then find out your face is the Chinese equivalent of the Gerber's Baby, and has been for decades, and you never had a clue. This apparently happens all the time. #6. We Can Do It! With Your Face!!! Via Wikipedia You've almost certainly seen the famous World War II propaganda icon "Rosie the Riveter. " What started as a simple motivational poster for the millions of women working in factories while their husbands were away fighting became one of the most iconic symbols of feminism and equality in the workplace. . #5. "A phone call? #4. Via fstoppers Oh. 5 Dumb Myths About Prehistoric Times That Everyone Believes. Prehistoric times are a particularly murky spot in the pool of human history. Still, we all have at least some idea of what went down back then: hulking, fur-clad cavemen bashing their prey (and each other) with massive clubs, attempting to invent essentials such as agriculture and the wheel on the side.
Of course, as always, things are a lot more complicated than we tend to assume. It turns out a lot of what we think we know about prehistory is brought to us by Hollywood and Geico commercials. #5. Hunter-Gatherers Lived a Life of Hard Labor and Near-Starvation Hulton Archive/Getty Images The Myth: Imagine that you live in an alternate reality where the concept of agriculture doesn't exist.
Yes, at the hunter-gatherer stage of human history, getting groceries sucked giant mammoth balls. Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Getty Images"Not going to lie, kind of miss the killing. " The Reality: The dawn of farming actually made our ancestors' lives far more difficult. Photos.com"Uh, STDs too ... " #4. . #3. The 20 Most Misunderstood Movies of All Time. Cracked.
Are you part of a thriving community of working-class homeowners? If so, here's hoping no government entity ever decides they'd rather do something else with the land your homes are built on. As history has shown time and again, once they do, they will stop at almost nothing to separate you from your property. We talk about some of the most egregious land grabs from the never-ending battle between the rich and the poor on this week's Unpopular Opinion podcast ... ... where I'm joined by actress Madylin Sweeten and comic Lou Perez.
It's also the topic of conversation in this column today. . #4. Wikipedia When the federal government sent every resident of Chavez Ravine a letter in 1949 saying they would be required to sell their homes, it wasn't a completely bad thing at first. Not everyone left, of course, and those who did received way less compensation for their homes than they deserved. Chris Hondros/Getty Images News/Getty ImagesIt fixes everything. YouTubeThis one, specifically. #3. 19 Real Sinister Conspiracies That Actually Happened. Article_18692_the-5-most-ridiculous-martial-arts-movies-ever. We don't expect much from our martial arts movies. A shallow plot (you killed my father/master/mother/wife/dog/cat, so now I'm going to kill you/your father/master/mother/wife/dog/cat) is acceptable so long as there are some serious ass kickings along the way.
You'd think it'd be a hard formula to screw up. You'd be so wrong. #5. The movies following Bruce Lee's death filled a void for fans robbed too soon of their hero, even if they were uniformly awful. It begins with his corpse (played by Bruce Leung) getting a boner. Sure, it turns out that it's really just his nunchucks (happens to us all the time) and the intention is to make us laugh, but when you consider that the actual Bruce Lee only died a few years prior to The Dragon Lives Again, you've got to wonder if the most respectful way to honor his legacy is casket-boner jokes. It quickly gets much, much worse.
It's an all-star cast! Yup, that's an adultery joke at the expense of the recently deceased. Step five is naked tea parties. Article_19981_the-5-most-embarrassing-failures-in-history-war. We really don't get enough stories about incompetent soldiers. Think about it: It's a real disservice to war heroes if we never give people anything to compare them to. The very reason bravery and quick wits under fire are to be celebrated is because they're rare. So let's take a moment to celebrate some of the hilariously stupid shit that goes on in the name of war. #5. Getty In 1932, Australian farmers had a problem: A gigantic flock of birds had migrated into their land and were obliterating their wheat crops. The situation quickly escalated to the point where you could barely see the fields from scores of Big Birds lounging around. That is how Major G.P.W. Photos.comAnd thus began Bird War One. This did not go well. The Embarrassment: The very first clash of the operation proved that the emus were gifted in the art of guerrilla tactics in a way that would make the Jurassic Park velociraptors break out into spontaneous applause.
"You think I'm afraid of you? #4. Nope. Facebook. . #3. 6 People Saved by Literally the Last Person They Expected. We all have at least one enemy we'd love to see crawl on their knees to beg for our help, only for us to say no and laugh at their misery because screw you, Joey, we'll never forgive you for dropping our ThunderCats Pogs in the toilet. Some of the most powerful people in the world have found themselves in this exact situation ... and when the time came to tell their rivals to eat shit, they instead turned around and said, "Sure thing, buddy, let me help you with that. " #6. Bill Gates Saves Apple from Bankruptcy David Paul Morris/Getty Images News/Getty Images Few corporate rivalries have gotten so nasty as the one between Microsoft and Apple.
Both companies have been known to get their hands dirty and leave morals aside to get ahead of the other. Microsoft has made millions of dollars shamelessly copying Apple's patents, and Apple did those "I'm a PC, I'm a Mac" commercials. AppleSo they're pretty much even. Fortunately, Jobs convinced an old pal to come to the rescue. . #5. . #4. John Trumbull. Article_20633_5-pleasant-surprises-about-famous-people-you-had-all-wrong. We love celebrity culture for the same reason we love watching people fall down on YouTube: We like seeing dumb people screw up and make public asses of themselves. But if we stop laughing at them long enough, we'll occasionally find that celebrities are people too, and sometimes they'll surprise us by actually being way less awful than we'd suspect. For example ... #5.
Ke$ha Is a Math and History Nerd Christopher Polk/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images To say that pop star Ke$ha is a poor role model is kind of like saying that Jack Daniel's is a poor substitute for toothpaste. All of her songs share the same basic theme of waking up in a bathtub somewhere and stumbling bleary-eyed into the world in search of alcohol and cock without stopping long enough to shower. Simone Joyner/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty ImagesWho can dare to resist such raw sexuality? But Actually ... On a similar note ... #4.
Capitol Records Pink Floyd did not do drugs. . #3. All that Satanic stuff? Super White & Kinda Racist: 5 Realities Of Australia | Cracked.com. When Hollywood wants to film a movie set in a blasted, apocalyptic wasteland, it turns to Australia. The sets decorate themselves! Warner Bros. "Oh, the mask isn't part of the costume. I found it out here. " Otherwise, what do you really know about the place? The country is known for its cartoonish outdoorsmen, both real and fictional (Crocodile Dundee, Steve Irwin), its murderous wildlife, and for the fact that it was originally founded as a huge prison colony. To find out how weird, we spoke to Elsa Moriarty, who works in the Australian "Outback" and told us... #5. Leszek Kobusinski/iStock/Getty If you saw this alarming GIF uploaded by a redditor ... grawsby/redditIf you're ever dining on vacation here, don't get the frog legs. ... you probably assumed it was a hoax. You see, in northern and inland Australia, summers are filled with days hotter than 110 degrees, and lakes and streams dry up for months at a stretch.
Warner Bros.Only about 25 percent of which are animated. #4. . #3. I Was A Reality TV Judge: 5 Secrets I Shouldn't Tell You | Cracked.com. As you can probably guess, guys like Simon Cowell don't personally sit through all of the tens of thousands of auditions that come in for network singing competitions. To get to him, you have to go through people like me. For several years, I worked on The X-Factor in artist development, auditioning thousands of everyday people all over the country and filtering them down to the ones who are actually ready for prime time.
To the average viewer, singing competitions like our show or American Idol are pretty straightforward: People show up, they sing, most are terrible but a few are good enough to be on TV, someone wins, and their album bombs just in time for the next season. But the reality is, well, a little more complicated. #5. We're Not Looking For The Best Singers; We're Looking For "Characters" FremantleMedia Enterprises So many people have sung for us, hoping to fulfill years of hard work and obsessive dedication, only to be shut down in 30 seconds flat.
Tim P. But despite that ... Article_19368_6-shockingly-affordable-sci-fi-inventions. As we here at Cracked are fond of pointing out, technological advancements are causing real life and science fiction to overlap in increasingly interesting ways. Still, most of the really cool gear must cost a fortune and a half ... right? Actually, no. A lot of this stuff that not too long ago was only available in your daydreams is actually well within an average person's budget. And if it's outside of yours, who would ever deny you a loan once they hear you're going to use it for ... #6. Price: $4,950 Seriously, gravity is the worst. "It's great until you try to masturbate. But only a fraction of humans in the history of the species have ever experienced weightlessness, considering it requires you to go to freaking outer space, and that you need a lifetime of astronaut training to achieve it.
You might have heard that when NASA astronauts are training for zero-G conditions, they go up in one of NASA's wonderfully nicknamed "vomit comets. " "You'll want to use a hustler on the way up. " Article_22771_5-little-kids-more-badass-than-youll-ever-be. As a general rule, we assume that the most impressive feat humans can pull off before age 17 is texting and walking at the same time.
This is, of course, completely incorrect. Kids can be complete badasses, just as easily as adults. There are toddlers out there who make Mad Max look like Mickey Mouse -- and we have the pictures to prove it. #5. Via USA Today Well, let's just get the obvious out of the way: This, of course, was taken in Russia, home to the world's largest stockpile of ungiven fucks. Interestingly enough, it turns out submission wrestling the king of the forest isn't the worst fighting training you can have, seeing as one of those children grew up to be a UFC powerhouse.
Via Courier MailThat's actually a polar bear he defeated and now wears as a hat. The fact that he spent part of his childhood grappling with young apex predators probably goes a long way toward explaining why he is now a wrestler, judo black belt, and sambo martial arts champion. . #4. Iulian Stroe #3. It is! The 6 Most Ridiculous F***-Ups In The History Of Science | Cracked.com. The 12 Most Horrifically Misleading Euphemisms | Cracked.com.
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