What Teenage Boys Still Don’t Know About Sexual Assault. Why Don't Victims of Sexual Harassment Come Forward Sooner? Source: AntonioGuillem/Shutterstock People seem to ask this question every time a high-profile sexual harassment or assault case is reported.
Cases like the recent article from Washington Post detailing allegations against Roy Moore, Alabama’s Republican candidate for Senate, seems to have offered fresh opportunities to perpetuate victim blaming. It is amazing how many people shift the blame onto alleged victims, asking why they waited until now. article continues after advertisement The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission reports receiving 12,000 allegations of sex-based harassment each year, with women accounting for about 83 percent of the complainants. Stop Shaming Victims of Sexual Assault for Not Reporting. Source: 123 rf. com article continues after advertisement Being sexually assaulted in one of the most shame-inducing traumas that a person can experience.
So it is understandable that victims don’t need to be further shamed by being shamed for not reporting the crime. And yet, that is exactly what happens whenever we hear, for the first time, about a sexual assault that occurred months or years ago. “Why didn’t she report it before?” Sixty-three percent of sexual assaults are not reported. Not every victim reacts the same way or has the same reasons for not reporting, but based on my forty years working as a psychotherapist I believe there are ten major reasons for non-reporting: 1. This is what a former client shared with me about her experience of being shamed by a sexual assault: “I felt so humiliated when I was raped. 4 Things Men Can Do After #MeToo – Pamela Clare Wylie Samuelson.
I am a feminist, and I’m surrounded by good men.
And, since last fall, I have been watching every single one of them react to #metoo. Some have spent these months in self-reflection, and realized that somewhere in their past they have been selfish, conveniently ignored signals and/or words they should’ve paid attention to, and possibly hurt someone, or several someones. They are becoming aware that they have fucked up. The men telling me these things are overcome with regret, fear, shame. Inside the Movement to Reprogram Masculinity.
From Women To Men. Why the Somatic Bullying in the Tony Robbins Film Should Be of Concern to Yoga Teachers and Everyone Else - Decolonizing Yoga. By Matthew Remski August 11th, 2016 A few weeks ago my partner and I watched “I Am Not Your Guru”, the Netflick about Tony Robbins’ “Date with Destiny” seminar in 2014.
Learning to say "no", "not now", and "I want" will forever change your sex life. How Porn Can Help Stop The Toxic Sexual Culture That Led to #MeToo. When we talk about porn's relationship to #MeToo, we tend to focus on the negative.
But one woman is using porn as an opportunity to address the cultural issues at the heart of every #MeToo story. Indie adult filmmaker Erika Lust has been hosting public screenings of her popular erotica series XConfessions at theaters and festivals around the world for years now. From Berlin to Buenos Aires and most recently Los Angeles, her work showcases exactly how sexy consent can be, while lengthy Q&A sessions with audiences spark powerful conversations.
"Sexually explicit films help us construct our visions of pleasure and desire," Lust says. What is Missing in Consent. Consent.
The word implies that one person is asking, and the other person is responding. One person is doing, the other person is receiving. One is active, the other is passive. What Went Wrong With Men That 12 Million Women Said #MeToo? The massive outpouring of women saying #MeToo is both heartbreaking in its scope and encouraging in the bravery and solidarity it shows—12 million uses of #MeToo on social media in the first 24 hours, according to various reports.
Commentators are rightly saying we need to change the culture of male power, have more women as bosses and elected officials, and enforce sexual harassment laws. These and more are important. I want to look at this from a different angle. Why Grace Didn’t Leave Her Date with Aziz. There is no questions the date between Aziz and Grace was a disaster.
We have watched as people have taken sides, but that’s not what we want to do here. It was a bad date, Aziz pushed too hard, Grace didn’t leave. Ex-Dominatrix Teaching Women to Demand Respect. The Mother Wound as a Missing Link to Understanding Misogyny. With this massive wave of brave women coming forward with disclosures of sexual harassment across many industries, many of us, men and women alike, are grappling with the sobering reality of rampant misogyny.
As a culture, we’re left to ask questions like, why do so many men have the impulse to disrespect, hate or violate women? Where does that really come from? And how do we stop it? As an internationally recognized expert on the mother wound in women, I’m often asked to speak about the mother wound in men. At this time of mass disclosures about sexual assault, I wanted to write a piece exploring how the mother wound is the missing link in our understanding of misogyny. Oxford dictionary defines misogyny as “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.” For both girls and boys, the relationships with our mothers are one of the most significant relationships in our lives. Both men and women have a mother wound but men are ill-equipped to heal theirs. Can We Be Honest About Women? David French of National Review recently wrote an article asking, “Can we be honest about men?”
In it, he laments the avalanche of sexual harassment cases in the media, politics, and entertainment, asking, “When will it end?” “The obvious answer is never,” he says. “At least not until we stare human nature in the face, confront it squarely, and call men to live according to a higher and better purpose. We could endure the zombie apocalypse, and the world would be full of local warlords using their power and status to exploit women.”
He continues: Here’s a simple reality — large numbers of men enter high-status professions (such as entertainment and politics) in part or even primarily to gain access to beautiful women. This Moment Isn’t (Just) About Sex. Having good sex in the age of Weinstein.