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50 Hilarious, Brilliant Mitch Hedberg One-Liners That Would’ve Made Epic Tweets. I first discovered Mitch Hedberg around 2007 and within minutes I was a loyal fan.

50 Hilarious, Brilliant Mitch Hedberg One-Liners That Would’ve Made Epic Tweets

I ended up watching and listening to every last piece of his material that I could find, and excitedly went in search of his tour dates. Upon discovering that he passed in 2005, I was distraught, and since then I struggle to even watch his routines because the man was so unique and witty, I can only imagine what he’d have to say about pop culture, politics, technology and life in 2013. One thing we can be fairly certain of is that he’d be a master of Tweeting. Often his jokes were short, sweet nuggets of gold that left listeners thinking, laughing or doing a combination of both. Here are 50 Mitch Hedberg one-liners that would’ve been worthy of all the ‘Retweets’ and ‘Favorites’ in the world.

{Words That Inspire} Inspirational Picture Quotes. Quotations by Topic. Human Useless Facts. Men fart an average of 17 times a day, and women fart an average of 9 times a day.

Human Useless Facts

If you fart constantly for 6 years, 9 months and 23 days you would produce enough gas to explode an atomic bomb. The longest ever penis recorded by scientists is 13.5 inches. Humans are only second to cats for having the dirtiest mouths. It takes about 40 muscles to smile, but only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent rifle. Beard hair grows at twice its usual rate when you're in a plane. Around 15 men each year have their penises chopped off by their wives and the highest proportion of men who suffer this are Italians. You use more calories eating celery than there are in celery itself. More than 2,500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products.

Semen is one of the most fattening substances known to man. QUOTES ABOUT LIFE. LIFE QUOTES. QUOTES TO LIVE BY. Sometimes, when life kicks you about like a ball in a pinball machine or when everything seems to have a grey tint, it is nice to know that someone else have experienced some of the same things in life.

QUOTES ABOUT LIFE. LIFE QUOTES. QUOTES TO LIVE BY.

Whether you are in need of a kick or just some comforting, funny words, look no further than to my long list of inspirational quotes about life, that I have hunted and gathered from various places around the vast internet plains. Feel free to comment on the page and add some of you’re own favourite quotes about life, at the bottom of the page. Some of the best peals of wisdom and life quotes to life by: Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.

(Albert Einstein) A quote by Mitch Hedberg. Words. Even More Quotes. 48 252 694 988 168 390 1304 597 133 111 286 221 267 436 288 501 181 339 495 1500 944itsirrational.com - the best myspace layouts, codes, page graphics, comment boxes, quotes, scroll boxes, music player skins, contact buttons, headers, pixels and more!

Even More Quotes

Famous Quotes, Facebook Quotes, Funny Quotes, Facebook Status - iLike2Like.com. Oscar Wilde's most enduring epigrams – infographic. That’s a good question. Wednesday Wisdom « House of 34. Love Laws. How to Flourish: 17 Quotes On Living, Being, and Doing. 7 Lessons From 7 Great Minds. Have you ever wished you could go back in time and have a conversation with one of the greatest minds in history?

7 Lessons From 7 Great Minds

Well, you can’t sorry, they’re dead. Unless of course you’re clairaudient, be my guest. But for the rest of us, we can still refer to the words they left behind. Even though these great teachers have passed on, their words still live, and in them their wisdom. Short-Clean Jokes!! Remember #Quotes. Wisdom in few words: best motivational quotes. Throughout last couple of years I’ve been collecting my personal favorite quotations from various inspirational people in my Evernote.

Wisdom in few words: best motivational quotes

As a result I got quite a long list of sayings which I personally consider to be one of the smartest, wittiest, daring and positive at the same time. Moscow, 2008. So, I thought why not to share them with you? Assuming I have a lot in common with my readers, you might enjoy them too. If you don’t then you might just skip the post and excuse me for wasting your time. Mitch Hedberg. 30 Best Quotes in Pictures of the Week – June 03st to June 09th. 1.

30 Best Quotes in Pictures of the Week – June 03st to June 09th

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour…..” – Albert Einstein 2. “When you can’t smoke” – Rory Sutherland 3. “Death does not concern us…” – Epicurus. Will Ferrell. That is all. Mitch Hedberg Quotes. Motivation. Inspiring Quotes and Pictures. 53.2K Amazing Shares Facebook 1 Pin It Share 64 64 Twitter 0 Google+ 0 StumbleUpon 53.2K Email -- Email to a friend 53.2K Amazing Shares × I am sure I am not the only one that needs inspiration from time to time.

Inspiring Quotes and Pictures

Sometimes life seems so challenging and then realize there are people that depend on you and life needs you to be ok. 101 Inspirational Quotes to Light Up Your Life. I love inspirational quotes.

101 Inspirational Quotes to Light Up Your Life

Don’t you? They have the power to inspire, guide, and bring entirely new insights. The right quote can help you sail in a new direction, keep aligned with your focus, or transform a less than desirable habit. Quotations can also be a perfect remedy for almost any emotional, mental, or spiritual woe, or at least an important part of your healing toolkit. I’ve created a second collection of inspirational quotes to share with you today. Please enjoy. Sixteen Things Calvin and Hobbes Said Better Than Anyone Else. To paraphrase E.B.

Sixteen Things Calvin and Hobbes Said Better Than Anyone Else

White, the perfect sentence is one from which nothing can be added or removed. Every word plays its part. 1001 Feminist Quotes - The Feminist eZine. Toronto Website Design & Toronto SEO The following is a collection of quotes about feminism and human rights: Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. Dalai Lama Quotes. Weakness. NATIVE AMERICAN QUOTES. My Favorite Disney Quotes. Quoted <3. 227 1528 850 890 7467 4205 820 760 1908 2775 436 496 2189 2115 2539 470 1210 537 117 1440 801 2171 1608 990 59 1024 382 1809 1560 241 1223 2009 282 684 1258 109 931 521 757 2917 2461 511 289 561 838 4111 194 176 1366 1639 160 2843 332 284 278 1006 5132 467 151 846 875 2266 1777 346 2409 817 821 1367 3270 1907 288 1147 2540 1830 754 4867 1409 210 1172 1002 560 5024 196 956 1423 98 443 507 1107 3868 1507 308.

35 Inspiring Quotes from Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein (March 14, 1879 – April 18, 1955), the famous theoretical physicist, developed the theory of relativity and is considered the father of modern physics. The nuclear physicist Robert Oppenheimer shared his impressions of Einstein by saying, “He was almost wholly without sophistication and wholly without worldliness . . . There was always with him a wonderful purity at once childlike and profoundly stubborn.” Due to his brilliance Einstein was often called upon to offer opinions on topics beyond the realm of physics; thus the wide range of inspired quotations. “Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.” “Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler.” “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”

Popular Quotes. Steve Jobs Quotes. Quotes about anything and everything - q.uote.it.