(Not So Great) Expectations. (Not So Great) Expectations. LifelineFF_Couples-Workbook.pdf. Engaged%20Couples%20Manual%20-%20Updated%202011.pdf. Lists for Couples : National Healthy Marriage Resource Center. Main Content The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center has compiled a series of Top 10 Lists to help couples understand and enhance their relationships.
We asked relationship experts, authors and the general public various relationship questions and here are the results! These lists are not based on a comprehensive survey. Inclusion on a list does not constitute an endorsement by the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center. Top 10 Most Appreciated Spousal Affirmations "I can live for two months on a good compliment. " Words are, indeed, powerful. "I love you. " Back to top Top 10 Acts of Service for Your Mate Here is another Chapman-inspired question from The Five Love Languages. Within every language, there are many dialects. During cold months while I am showering, my spouse sometimes throws a towel in the dryer so it's all fluffy and warm when I come out.
Top 10 Appreciated Expressions of Love through Touch. Married Sexuality - Marriage & Sex. Protecting and Enhancing Sexuality in Marriage As your relationship develops, sexuality changes.
This is normal. Since intense sexual attraction is usually an important bonding element early in relationships, sexual changes often seem unwelcome. Many factors are involved in these changes. Before we talk any further about the challenges of sex in marriage, it's worth noting that married women and men report being significantly more satisfied with their sex lives than either single or cohabiting people. One of the most fundamental challenges is the decline in sexual novelty. Low desire is the top sexual problem in marriages. Other common interfering factors include anger, time, avoidance and anxiety. While most couples don’t want to make love while they are in the middle of a fight, it’s a mistake to put aside your sex life for an extended period because of disagreements.
Lack of time is one of the most often cited reasons for infrequency of sex. Expectations equal unhappiness. Whatever you focus on, grows.
So how much time and energy do you spend focused on your expectations? A good working definition of expectations is planned disappointment. And expectations are directly correlated with happiness, or more aptly, unhappiness. When what we expect to happen does not happen, we are disappointed and we suffer pain at some level. The greater the expectation, the greater the pain. Ironically, we are also likely to be unhappy even when our expectations ARE met!
I shall explain. We are most grateful for the good things that come our way that we did not expect to happen. If you expect your spouse to help with the housework, you will be disappointed, mad, sad, or angry when your spouse does not help you with the housework, but you won’t necessarily be grateful when your spouse does help with the housework. Pleased – “I’m glad we’re doing this together.”Surprised – “I can’t believe you actually mopped the floor!” Expectations and gratitude are opposite sides of the same coin. 5 Expectations Marriage Doesn't Meet. Marriage is like a tube of toothpaste: You get the best results when you start squeezing at the bottom.
(Insert your own marital hanky-panky joke here.) The most successful marriages start with a solid foundation. That foundation is built on many things—mutual interests, shared beliefs, selflessness and, of course, love—but the biggest problem going into many marriages is that those basics are often held back by unrealistic expectations. All of us know someone for whom marriage didn't work out. We've all heard the statistics. How Often Should Married Couples Have Sex? Chris Mower and his high-school sweetheart, Afton, were happy newlyweds.
They picnicked in the park, hung out with friends, even took dancing lessons. Yet before half a year had passed, Mr. Mower developed a rather significant concern: They weren't having enough sex—and the situation was getting worse by the week. When Mr. Mower attempted to talk to his wife about the problem, she changed the subject. Months stretched into years. The Mowers are unusual in their willingness to speak frankly about a familiar source of marital unhappiness—differing expectations about sex. Remember the scene in "Annie Hall" where Woody Allen's and Diane Keaton's characters each answer their therapists' questions about how often they have sex? Increasingly, experts believe sex is a more emotional experience for men than for women. Sexual Expectations and Realities in Marriage. Expectations vs. Reality: Shower Sex.