A Formula for World Class Conversations | Conscious Leadership Group Blog. Someone once said that all of life is a conversation. I agree. Often the conversation is in our own heads where the dialogue never seems to end. Sometimes the conversation is between intimate partners or parents and children. Conversations go on in organizations all the time between leaders and followers, teammates, sales teams and customers, one department with another...and on and on the talking goes. Since this seems to be a de facto reality, it would behoove all of us to be capable of having world class conversations.
So much time, energy and opportunity are missed because we’re having suboptimal discussions. So, what makes for great conversations? I developed this chart years ago when I was spending a great deal of time working with financial firms, especially with asset managers. Box #1: Low Curiosity/Low Candor = Lose/Lose In organizations where both candor and curiosity are low, the conversations will be either filled with drama or there’s no communication at all. Candor Context. A Formula for World Class Conversations | Conscious Leadership Group Blog. How to speak to anyone with ease. The right way to give constructive feedback at work.
Telling a direct report or a co-worker when they have done something wrong, or could have done something better, can be awkward. Even just the potential for conflict can be anxiety-inducing, which is why previous research has shown many workers don't like to give feedback. However, your colleague who recently floundered during a presentation might actually value your thoughts, according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association. Five experiments were conducted for the study where participants were paired together and one had to say how much they wanted feedback and the other had to say how much they wanted to give feedback. In each experiment, participants underestimated their partner's desire for constructive feedback and therefore didn't give it. The key word here is "constructive. " Giving those kind of even helpful notes at the wrong time or in the wrong way, though, can leave the recipient feeling unmotivated, experts say.
Give feedback at the right time. How to become a better listener according to science. High-quality listening is an underrated ability. How well and frequently you listen to others is a better predictor of your leadership potential than your actual intelligence or personality. As a recent review shows, good listeners tend to perform better at work, and to report higher level of wellbeing, as well as more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. We tend to trust them more, and they tend to be seen as curious, empathetic and emotionally intelligent. To some degree, the power of listening can be explained by the fact that good listening is rare. We live in a world in which people are often rewarded for self-promoting, being the center of attention, and talking as much as they can, even when they have nothing to say. So, how can you become a better listener? Shut upListenRepeat However, this is easier said than done, and (if you are still listening) I suspect you may be looking for something meatier.
Focus Empathy Self-control Inclusion. Reflections on writing thank-you notes in the workplace | DiSC Profiles. With gratitude and an understanding of DiSC® Have you ever been working really hard, feeling frustrated at a task and turned to a hand-written thank you note for support and encouragement? Do you keep an email folder with notes of appreciation? Do you wish you had these things? I’m a very unsentimental person who throws out birthday and holiday cards the day after receiving them, but I have an e-mail folder full of positive comments.
I’ve used it to give me confidence and to help me write my LinkedIn profile. I’ve also reflected on some as a challenge to keep up the type of performance that inspired someone to send me a note. Image from MyEverythingDiSC.com You see from the image above that I’m selective with praise. I have to remind myself that a simple email matters. Appreciation by DiSC style Join me in thinking about what my colleagues might enjoy reading in a note or hearing from my lips. Thanking D-style colleagues With D’s, I can be brief and focus on outcomes. Samples: Rafael, Kristeen. How to Respond to Insecure Co-workers. Effective Feedback. The Art of Tact and Diplomacy. Tact and diplomacy are methods used to aid effective communication, especially during negotiation and when attempting to be persuasive or assertive.
Using tact and diplomacy appropriately can lead to improved relationships with other people and are a way to build and develop mutual respect, which in turn can lead to more successful outcomes and less difficult or stressful communications. Tact and diplomacy are skills centred around an understanding of other people and being sensitive to their opinions, beliefs, ideas and feelings. Effective use of such skills comes from being able to sense accurately what another person is feeling or thinking at any given time and then responding in such a way as to avoid bad feelings or awkwardness, whilst at the same time asserting or reflecting your own ideas and feelings back in a delicate and well-meaning fashion. All people and all communication situations are unique. Defining Tact and Diplomacy: - Isaac Newton - David Frost Negotiate. Themuse. Bluntness Checklist: Are You Brutally Blunt or Helpfully Honest? - Kate Nasser. Bluntness Checklist: 7 Steps From Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest We all benefit when we communicate honestly and clearly.
It minimizes confusion and speeds success. Yet there is a big difference between being brutally blunt vs. honest and clear. Here’s a 7 step bluntness checklist to get you easily from blunt to honest. Bluntness Checklist:7 Steps from Brutally Blunt to Helpfully Honest Image by: Nomadic Lass via Flickr Creative Commons License. How do you want people to feel when you are communicating? What image do they have of you when you are communicating? This bluntness checklist is an emotionally intelligent guide. #1 Honor people as well as your purpose and message.Much of the bluntness comes from focusing purely on the message you want to deliver. Before speaking, ask yourself what impact your words will have on others.
. #2 Openness to other possibilities makes you less blunt. What you say is rarely an absolute fact. . #5 Sense of proportion reduces the brutality. #7 Yes. Too Direct? Five Ways to Dial it Back – Aspire-CS. We all appreciate a leader who is honest and direct in the way they speak. Good leaders strive for clarity and truthfulness. However, do you know that you can cross the line into what I call being “overly direct”? An overly direct leader can be abrupt. They may not recognize when they have not provided the care and time needed to speak to others in such a way that there is a give and take in the conversation. The line is thin between being direct and crossing into being overly direct. If you’ve had feedback that indicates that others perceive your communication style as too direct, brusque, abrupt, rigid, or blunt, here are some ways to pause and reconsider your reactions when you are communicating with others: Slow down: Take some deep breaths, all the way down into your belly.
Stop and listen: Stop talking and listen to the individual you are speaking to. Observe them: Pay attention to the reactions others have when you are communicating with them. 3 Practices To Become A Great Listener. Active Listening. How to be a great listener. Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are.
Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are. Active Listening - Communication Skills Training from MindTools.com. Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. For instance: We listen to obtain information. We listen to understand. We listen for enjoyment. Given all the listening that we do, you would think we'd be good at it! Turn it around and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with information, you aren't hearing the whole message either. Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. Click here to view a transcript of this video. Tip: Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness.
About Active Listening The way to improve your listening skills is to practice "active listening. " In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully. If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them. Why Most Leaders Need to Shut Up and Listen.
Managing Your Emotions at Work - Career Development From MindTools.com. Top 10 Communication Skills for Workplace Success. The ability to communicate effectively with superiors, colleagues, and staff is essential, no matter what industry you work in. Workers in the digital age must know how to effectively convey and receive messages in person as well as via phone, email and social media. Top 10 Communication Skills Here are the top 10 communication skills that will help you stand out in today's job market. 1.
ListeningBeing a good listener is one of the best ways to be a good communicator. No one likes communicating with someone who only cares about putting in her two cents, and does not take the time to listen to the other person. 2. Also pay attention to other people's nonverbal signals while you are talking. Nonverbal Communication Skills 3. Say what you want clearly and directly, whether you're speaking to someone in person, on the phone, or via email. Verbal Communication Skills 4. Interpersonal Skills List 5. 6. 7. 8. Convey respect through email by taking the time to edit your message. 9. 10. How to Respond to Insecure Co-workers. Why Leaders Who Listen Achieve Breakthroughs.
As a leader, communicating can sometimes feel like Groundhog Day. No matter how hard you try to get your message across, it is all too easy to find the next day that you face the same blank stares, predictable objections, and questions that indicate that you failed to make it stick — that people just aren’t getting it. One reason leaders find themselves in this cycle is that their approach to communication is based on an outdated mental model. It’s a model best described as a “post office.” They view themselves as the sender of a message and others as the receivers. If problems arise, leaders look for disruption somewhere along the route. The post office model focuses most leaders’ attention on the sending process, rather than the give-and-take of effective conversations. By contrast, true two-way conversations reflect a more open, balanced, and reciprocal sharing of perspectives.
Slow down. Create a safe space. Ask inviting questions. Listen with a willingness to be influenced. Psychological Safety Eats Culture (and Wellness) For Lunch | Joel Bennett.