5 Things Men Do to Ruin Their Own Sex Lives. Sex is weird for guys.
We have simple tastes and simple needs that seem to require minimal upkeep. Hell, for that matter, we barely require attention or even presence. 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women. Photos.com I don't know what it's like to be a woman, so it's not easy for me to describe what it's like to be a man, because I don't know what you're using for context.
I'm going to do my best: Did you ever watch old cartoons where a character is starving on a desert island, and when another character approaches, he's so hungry that he imagines the other character as a talking piece of food? Via TV TropesThird panel omitted due to graphic content. It's like that for most men, most of the time. Right now I'm reading a book from mega-selling fantasy author George R. "When she went to the stables, she wore faded sandsilk pants and woven grass sandals. 5 Ways You're Accidentally Making Everyone Hate You. Have you recently had friends, co-workers, or strangers suddenly get pissed off at you for what seemed like no reason at all?
Maybe you told yourself that they were overreacting or being too sensitive, or that they had no right to be angry when you clearly didn't mean to do whatever you did (and in fact aren't even sure what it was). If you're a socially inept type like me, I bet you've had this happen within the last month. Well, I'm here to help. Fortunately, I am the nation's foremost expert on social missteps, with more than 30 years of experience in the field (some of you know me as the best-selling author of I Couldn't Help But Notice Your Father's Corpse Had a Boner: The Psychology of the Socially Awkward Man, MacMillan, 2008), and I have found that the answer to "Why is everyone suddenly mad at me?
" is usually one of the following. Hint: It's almost always about power. #5. Getty For those of us who aren't great with people, we figure that silence is always the safest bet. . #4. The 6 Stupidest Things We Use to Judge People We Don't Know. A couple of days ago I was talking to a friend about music, and within 30 seconds we were making fun of Nickelback.
Half a minute after that, we were ripping on their fans. At the time, we were just two guys looking down our noses and laughing at a fan base and a form of music we considered beneath us. But after that conversation, I kind of felt like a douchebag. Not for making fun of Nickelback, because that band really does suck, but for damning their fans. A Night Out Ain't What It Used to Be. Login Cheezburger Channels Upvoted Disregard Authority, Acquire Anarchy Dafuq Dogmeat...
6 Scientific Reasons Your Girlfriend's Father Hates You. The good news is that you've found a girl worth going through the trouble of meeting her parents.
The bad news is that no matter how hard you try, her dad would just as soon kick you in the throat than welcome you into his family. The other bad news is that there's nothing you can do about it, because the universe is working to make sure the old man hates you forever. The 5 Reasons Marriage Scares Men (Aren't What You Think) After a couple years of sending my girlfriend a clear message of, "We're never getting married," I proposed.
There are reasons it took me so long to come around, but none of them fell into those magazine/sitcom stereotypes (which can be summed up as, "He's having too much fun screwing around and doesn't want to commit"). In fact, I'm pretty sure that the people who write sitcoms and jewelry commercials and movies about bachelor parties don't have any goddamned idea how actual human relationships work. So for the women who have been conditioned to believe that we men are afraid of commitment because we don't want to give up our seat on the Saturday Night Fuck Train, allow me to give you the real reasons marriage scares guys. #5. 6 Ridiculous Sex Myths (That Are Actually True)
The only thing more awesome than an urban legend turning out to be true is if that same legend involves some sort of nefarious sex or groin related hilarity.
Luckily, all of these qualify. The Legend: "Dude, I can totally tell he's gay! Look at his fingers! " This sounds like one of those playground urban myths that adolescent males use as an excuse to punch each other. Yeah, right. The Truth: Incredibly, this is a real thing. Apparently if you have a longer ring finger, it means you got more testosterone as a fetus and are more likely to be hyperactive, aggressive and disgusted by anything featuring Hugh Grant. A longer index finger, on the other hand, means more estrogen, making you more neurotic and sensitive. Actually, no. So... how far into this entry did you get before you stopped to look at your fingers? The Dong Stuck in a Pool Filter So you're swimming around the pool and you pass by the humming filter, sucking debris out of the water. 7 Psychotic Pieces of Relationship Advice from Cosmo.
We get it.
Guys are tough to figure out: There's like 24 possible combinations that you can make with 1) beer 2) food 3) sex and 4) sports. No wonder their girlfriends have to resort to lady magazines to gain insight into the buzzing hive that is the male mind. We know most women laugh that stuff off as cheap entertainment not to be taken seriously, but what if they actually did listen to all of the advice? It'd pretty much turn into a nightmare of paranoia and petty revenge. After all, according to various Cosmo articles...
He Shares the Details of His Day, Therefore He Must Be Hiding Something. The 5 Weirdest Reasons We Have Sex (According to Science) Ever since Darwin popped off his big theory of evolution, we've all kind of presumed that everything we do -- the way we eat, the mates we choose, the way we purposely mispronounce "indubitably" for laughs, everything -- is ultimately tied to one goal: continuing the species.
But sometimes getting from A to Baby isn't as intuitive as you'd think. And scientists have had a hell of a time figuring out why. Now, we're not saying that these theories behind our sexual behaviors are the gospel truth or that there aren't other, conflicting theories out there. But if they are true, sex is even weirder than we thought. #5. Long before you tasted the wonders of sex or the body parts that have to do with sex, you (hopefully) tasted the inside of another person's mouth (if not, you should probably get off Cracked and finish your pre-algebra homework, sonny).
Getty"OK, now I just consume your head whole, right? " Pretty much all human cultures have kissing, and a few other animals do it as well. . #4.