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UCB Parents Jokes &Quotes: 8 rules for dating my daughter

UCB Parents Jokes &Quotes: 8 rules for dating my daughter
This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection 8 rules for dating my daughter Copyright 1999 W. Bruce Cameron ==> Please do NOT remove the copyright from this essay! <== When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. The opinions and statements expressed on this page are those of parents who belong to the UC Berkeley Parents Network and should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the University of California, Berkeley.

Nerd Paradise : How to Write a 20 Page Research Paper in Under a Day Posted on: 10 Cado 7:0 - 5.27.29 So you've procrastinated again. You told yourself you wouldn't do this 2 months ago when your professor assigned you this. But you procrastinated anyway. Pick a Topic The more "legally-oriented" your topic is, the better. Make a list ...of every possible outcome that this issue could cause in...the near future...the far future...of every person that this topic affects....of any instances where this topic has come in the news....what you would do about this topic if you had the chance/power/enough-sugar...any little detail you can think ofThe important thing about this is to think of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, no matter how silly or far-fetched. Reorder everything Put your most obvious argument first. Then put weird off the wall stuff, regardless of importance. Put the strongest argument for your case next. Now list the incidents that will help argue for your point. It's best to keep all this in the form of an outline. Spaces Now print it out. Write Go Back Inside

The Problem With Social Networks "Social Networks" like Facebook are booming -- especially Facebook. There's only one problem with them: to communicate there, members pretty much have to write. How can that be a problem? After all, all of us learned to write in school, right? Rachel: "I'm board." Abigale to Darcy: "You shouldn't be aloud to talk." Post: "Never leave facebook open. Catrina: "Just found out the US is bombing Labia...THAT SUCKS!... Cory: "DONT LET YOUR EMOTIONS OVER POWER YOUR INTELIGENCE'S" Alexa: "seriously?" Poster: "when is the point when you no that you cant fail worse?" And here's why this happens: Alyssa: "honer roll now with mostly a's and 1 b hopping for princapals honer roll next time :-)" Lee: "Just curious, does your school give spelling tests?" That, and: Post: "....thank you Massachusetts for making it impossible for me becoming a teacher. Yeah. Posted May 13, 2011 11:00 AM « Marketing Explained | Home | Random | Newspaper Correction of the Month » Category: Online life -- Prev: No!

Homemade Hair Treatments - At-Home Hair Repair at WomansDay.com Eggs, yogurt and honey are, at first glance, all components of a tasty breakfast—but they also happen to be hair treatment ingredients, and affordable, all-natural ones at that. And they're not the only ones. Did you know, for instance, that the oils in avocados more closely resemble our own skin's oils than any product in the beauty aisle does? Or that the mild acidity in lemon is an effective—and gentler—alternative to chemical-laden products? Next time your locks need a lift, save money by using one of these kitchen fixes. For All Hair Types "The [raw] egg is really the best of all worlds," says Janice Cox, author of Natural Beauty at Home. To Use: For normal hair, use the entire egg to condition hair; use egg whites only to treat oily hair; use egg yolks only to moisturize dry, brittle hair, Cox says. Photo by Shutterstock. For Dull Hair To Use: Massage 1/2 cup sour cream or plain yogurt into damp hair and let sit for 20 minutes. For Itchy Scalp For Limp or Fine Hair For Frizzy Hair

It is possible to understand Engineers - Where theres a will, theres a way. Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway." Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? The doctor chimed in,"I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. He said, "Hello, George. The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. They were silent for a moment.

Kids talk Science This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS: * "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water." * "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull." * "When you breathe, you inspire. The opinions and statements expressed on this page are those of parents who belong to the UC Berkeley Parents Network and should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the University of California, Berkeley.

Get Yo’ Nails Did Okay, so we’re only three weeks in to this whole thing and I’m already showing you a tame look after I totally promised some of you that I’d do a newsprint nail tutorial this week. Newsprint we can do next week, but for right now I wanted/needed a manicure by a professional. As I told you in the first “Get Yo’ Nails Did”, it’s important to include real manicures in your nail routine if you’re not comfortable cutting your cuticles and getting into the real work at home. I am not. I’m willing to shell out $20 bucks to have the dirty work done right, but I’m not going to splurge on nail art at the salon most of the time. That’s another thing: Remember that, while you should always be extremely polite to your manicurist, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for exactly what you want and to tell him/her if it’s not done correctly. For your own mental health, try to avoid those nail salons that feel more like cattle farms. The last thing I’m afraid of (beside death) is a little bit of contrast.

Water is dangerous This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. And for plenty of good reasons, since: it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting it is a major component in acid rain it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state accidental inhalation can kill you it contributes to erosion it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. He feels the conclusion is obvious.

Australia Australia is a wonderful, beautiful island continent home to a peaceful, happy, and loving people... that Mother Nature hates so much she can taste stabbing.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') != Just The Facts Australia is the largest island nation in the world, straddling the border of the Pacific and Indian Ocean. From the Abyss It Is Birthed Back in the 1770s the British Empire discovered Australia and, after finding it generally unfit for human habitation, proceeded to send all of their criminals and generally unwanted peasants there...because basic human empathy was not to be invented until the year 1821. After somehow managing to survive on Monster Island for over a century, it was considered only fair to grant the Australian citizens their freedom and on January 1st, 1901, Australia gained federation of its colonies, and The Commonwealth of Australia was born. Things in Australia that Will Kill You Everything. Ah, but the tropical beaches, you say! Hugh Jackman seems nice.

The Top 10 Psychology Studies of 2010 The end of 2010 fast approaches, and I'm thrilled to have been asked by the editors of Psychology Today to write about the Top 10 psychology studies of the year. I've focused on studies that I personally feel stand out, not only as examples of great science, but even more importantly, as examples of how the science of psychology can improve our lives. Each study has a clear "take home" message, offering the reader an insight or a simple strategy they can use to reach their goals , strengthen their relationships, make better decisions, or become happier. 1) How to Break Bad Habits If you are trying to stop smoking , swearing, or chewing your nails, you have probably tried the strategy of distracting yourself - taking your mind off whatever it is you are trying not to do - to break the habit. That's because habit-behaviors happen automatically - often, without our awareness. J. 2) How to Make Everything Seem Easier J. 3) How To Manage Your Time Better M. 4) How to Be Happier J.

Human World Human World The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth. When Albert Einstein died, his final words died with him. The nurse at his side didn't understand German. St Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was not Irish. The lance ceased to be an official battle weapon in the British Army in 1927. St. Many sailors used to wear gold earrings so that they could afford a proper burial when they died. Some very Orthodox Jew refuse to speak Hebrew, believing it to be a language reserved only for the Prophets. A South African monkey was once awarded a medal and promoted to the rank of corporal during World War I. Born 4 January 1838, General Tom Thumb's growth slowed at the age of 6 months, at 5 years he was signed to the circus by P.T. Because they had no proper rubbish disposal system, the streets of ancient Mesopotamia became literally knee-deep in rubbish. The Toltecs, Seventh-century native Mexicans, went into battle with wooden swords so as not to kill their enemies.

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