Season 4, Episode 11: Escape Perfectionism Once and for All [Podcast] Welcome to Season 4, Episode 11 of the This Is Your Life podcast. Stu McLaren is filling in for my regular cohost Michele Cushatt. In this episode, we discuss how to escape perfectionism once and for all. Perfectionism is the enemy of productivity and success. Listen to the Audio Subscribe to Podcast in iTunes Watch the Video In this episode, you’ll discover: The vital importance of distinguishing between perfection and excellence. Read the Transcript You can download a complete, word-for-word transcript of this episode here, courtesy of Ginger Schell, a professional transcriptionist, who does all my transcriptions. Join the Conversation My favorite part of doing these podcasts is participating in the conversation they provoke. Binge on All 13 Episodes! If you want to listen to more episodes, you will find all thirteen audio episodes of Season 4 here. Ask Me a Question If you have a question, comment, thought or concern, you can do so by clicking here. Subscribe to the Podcast Share the Love
Presidents, Before & After. [Photos] get elephant's newsletter Relephant bonus: Two photos each of 10 Presidents: Before & After their service. How we respond to stress shows up fast—with breath, exercise, community…or with fear, collapse, loss of humor. We have a choice.Relephant bonus: and “A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.” – Irish proverb “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.” ~ Abraham Lincoln 10 Presidents, 20 Photos: Before & After the Presidency. Lincoln, before and after the Civil War. Whitman on Lincoln: “I see the President almost every day … I see very plainly Abraham Lincoln’s dark brown face, with the deep-cut lines, the eyes, always to me with a deep latent sadness in the expression. Again, Whitman on Lincoln: “he has a face like a Hoosier Michelangelo–so awful ugly it becomes beautiful–with its strange mouth, its deep-cut, crisscross lines, and its doughnut complexion.” How Presidency Ages Us: For more: Bonus:
Five Ways to Find Perfection in Your Imperfections “This is our perfection: to find out our imperfections”– St. Augustine (as paraphrased by Sr. Joan Chittister) I was born a perfectionist. One of my earliest memories of my perfectionism was the habit of making my bed every morning as a kid. To be a kid who makes his bed is extraordinary in itself. Ensuring my bed was perfectly made was a sign of something deeper. I craved predictability because I was also a severe stutterer. No matter how hard I tried to hide my imperfect speech, it wouldn’t cooperate. I was ashamed. As I reached adolescence and early adulthood, it slowly dawned on me that the work of my life was not to stamp out all my imperfections but to let the imperfection itself become perfect. One day, I simply decided to accept my speech, just as it was. I want the same for you too. 1. Yes, this sounds like an oxymoron, but I have found it to be true in my life. Only after I exhausted myself trying to be perfect did I see the truth about the impossibility of the task. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Why Do You Love Me? A Real Man’s Reply. I love you because I do. I love you because the Universe showed me the way to you. I love you because my heart beats your name, my mind drowns in your eyes, my soul feels yours even when we are miles apart.I love you because I have no choice; I didn’t ask to love you. If you haven’t found the woman or man you want to say this to yet, this is for you: The 2 Types of Perfectionism: One Helps While The Other Sabotages You share share share share A certain type of perfectionism can lead to depression, anxiety and eating disorders. A dark type of perfectionism focusing primarily on anxieties about being perfect can hurt many areas of people’s lives, a new review reports. Perfectionism of this type involves constantly worrying about reaching impossibly high standards and making mistakes. It also involves worrying about letting others down. The psychologists found that the personality trait was most strongly linked to burnout at work. This may be because high performance in the workplace can often go unrewarded. In contrast, a related personality trait which focuses on striving for perfection is linked to more positive outcomes. People who set themselves high goals and work towards them pro-actively do better than those who focus more on their anxieties. The conclusions come from a review of 43 different studies conducted over 20 years. Dr Andrew Hill, the study’s lead author, said: Dr Hill said:
The Buddhist View of Loneliness as a Good Thing. get elephant's newsletter Photo: “Buddha Heart,” June 16, 2009 by Lynn Park.“Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. >> Bonus: the Four Stages of Loneliness & 10 Salves for a Broken Heart, here. The below is a great quote…reminds me of Robin Williams’ “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche & Pema Chodron. Via my mom, via Trungpa Rinpoche: an apt one for Valentine’s Day: “Although the warrior’s life is dedicated to helping others, he realizes that he will never be able to completely share his experience with others…Yet he is more and more in love with the world. From 2009: Tonight in Boulder there’s a Valentine’s Ball, which elephantjournal.com is proud to be sponsoring (it’s 80s style, and benefits the Women’s Bean Project). But the ‘shadow’ side of St. It helped somewhat that I’d been raised in the Buddhist tradition. Pema Chodron:
Anne Lamott on Writing and Why Perfectionism Kills Creativity Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (public library) is among my ten favorite books on writing — a treasure trove of insight both practical and profound, timelessly revisitable and yielding deeper resonance each time. Lamott adds to the collected wisdom of great writers with equal parts candor and conviction, teaching us as much about writing as she does about creativity at large and, even beyond that, about being human and living a full life — because, after all, as Lamott notes in the beginning, writing is nothing more nor less than a sensemaking mechanism for life: One of the gifts of being a writer is that it gives you an excuse to do things, to go places and explore. Another is that writing motivates you to look closely at life, at life as it lurches by and tramps around. I started writing when I was seven or eight. I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so. But, one might wonder, why? In a sentiment reminiscent of E.
Slain Reporter's Father Demands 'Coward' Politicians Take Up Gun Control Pernicious Perfectionism: 3 Pervasive Patterns If you are a perfectionist, you know all too well how this way of being can trap you. You set high expectations for yourself, which can lead to success, and boost your self-esteem. But with those lofty goals can come a reciprocal mountain of self-criticism and judgment, which gets in the way of the success you seek! Are you stuck in Pernicious Perfectionism? Three Typical Patterns of Perfectionism Rigid perfectionistic beliefs have been linked to everything from anxiety disorders to suicidal ideation, not to mention the paradoxical decrease in performance. Here are three typical patterns of perfectionism and the common thought, feeling, and action tendencies underlying them. Amy: The Overachiever The Pattern: Perfectionism had worked for Amy growing up in a highly critical family. Most of the time, she was successful in her pursuits and she received praise from others. Jay: The ‘Failure’ The Pattern: Jay grew up in a family of over-achievers. Donna: The Procrastinator
Donald Trump Goes Full Schmuck, Uses Yiddish Word For Penis To Mock Hillary Clinton A Highly Valued Personality Trait That Sadly Increases The Risk of Suicide This hidden cause of suicide might surprise you. Perfectionism is a bigger risk factor in suicide than is often thought, according to new research. Perfectionism involves being highly self-critical, constantly striving to meet the standards of others (typically parents or mentors) and being unsure about the efficacy of one’s own actions. While a certain amount of perfectionism is adaptive and necessary, when it becomes an obsession, it can lead to a vicious cycle. People in professions which have a strong emphasis on perfectionism — like lawyers, architects and physicians — are at a higher risk of suicide. Professor Gordon Flett of York University, who co-authored the study, said: It’s not hard to see how setting impossibly high standards for yourself would sometimes lead to negative feelings when these standards are not met. Professor Flett continued: Perfectionists like to maintain a mask of cool invulnerability to others, while inside their thoughts and emotions are anything but calm.