Revenge of the Introvert There are as many introverts as extraverts, but you'd never know it by looking around. Introverts would rather be entertained by what's going on in their heads than in seeking happiness. Their big challenge is not to feel like outsiders in their own culture. by Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D. After ten years as a psychologist practicing psychodynamic psychotherapy , I reclined on the couch of my own analyst feeling burdened by my chosen work. Then I heard myself say: "I don't like being a therapist." Suddenly I felt free, loosed from expectations that never fit. As a card-carrying introvert , I am one of the many people whose personality confers on them a preference for the inner world of their own mind rather than the outer world of sociability. Over the past two decades, scientists have whittled down to five those clusters of cognitions, emotions, motivations, and behaviors that we mean by "personality" factors. Although there is no precise dividing line, there are plenty of introverts around.
How We Shoot Ourselves in the Foot in Committed Relationships Falling in love is as natural as death. Staying in love is as natural as good diet and healthy exercise. We can eat, exercise, and love well in the short run, but over the long haul of everyday modern living, we tend to shoot ourselves in the foot. That's because, like toddlers, we try to do these things in the wrong part of our brains. Below are two of the major ways we shoot ourselves in the foot when it comes to love. The biggest mistake we make in love is assuming that our partners' experience is the same as ours and that events and behaviors should mean the same to them as they do to us. The illusion of sameness allows us to create some measure of safety in the face of the awful vulnerability that new intimate connections evoke. "Our hearts beat as one." "We're soul mates." "We're so close that we complete each other's sentences." "She really believes in me." "He really me." A severe limitation of empathy in intimate relationships is its susceptibility to the illusion of sameness.
Guide to flirting Why do we flirt? Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Anthropological research shows that flirting is to be found, in some form, in all cultures and societies around the world. Flirting is a basic instinct, part of human nature. According to some evolutionary psychologists, flirting may even be the foundation of civilisation as we know it. If flirting is instinctive, why do we need this Guide? Like every other human activity, flirting is governed by a complex set of unwritten laws of etiquette. We only become aware of the rules when someone commits a breach of this etiquette – by flirting with the wrong person, perhaps, or at an inappropriate time or place. This is a very obvious example, but the more complex and subtle aspects of flirting etiquette can be confusing – and most of us have made a few embarrassing mistakes. Where to flirt Parties Drinking-places Learning-places Workplace Participant sports/hobbies 1. 2. Posture
5 Psychological Experiments That Prove Humanity is Doomed Cracked.com's new book is now on sale. What follows is one of 22 classic articles that appear in the book, along with 18 new articles that you can't read anywhere else. Psychologists know you have to be careful when you go poking around the human mind because you're never sure what you'll find there. Oh, we're not talking about the occasional psychopath who turns up. The Asch Conformity Experiment (1953) The Setup: Solomon Asch wanted to run a series of studies that would document the power of conformity, for the purpose of depressing everyone who would ever read the results. Subjects were told that they would be taking part in a vision test, along with a handful of people. The Result: Questions the subjects were asked were like the puzzle shown here: All they had to do was say which line on the right matched the one on the left. Yet, sadly, 32 percent of subjects would answer incorrectly if they saw that three others in the classroom gave the same wrong answer. "Wait, you're right! C.
50 Tips for College Students I did the "extended tour" of college. From about 1991-2002. I did get 4 degrees, so at least I have an excuse. :) I've also been an adjunct professor, so I've also been at the other side of the classroom. 1) The Freshman Fifteen does exist. So does the Freshman Twenty. 2) Pizza - the ubiquitous college snack. 3) If it's either take out a loan or quit school, take out a loan. 4) If you can live harmoniously with someone in a 20×20 ft. space, you can do anything. 5) Flip-flops: Wear them in the dorm shower. 6) Always attend the *real* class, and use the Internet one for review. 7) If you are not a morning person, don't schedule classes for 7am. 8) Get involved on campus. 9) Too much socializing = bad grades. 10) If you are feeling overwhelmed, are having problems sleeping, or have gone through a breakup, visit your college's counseling center. 11) There are a lot of free activities on campus. 12) Many colleges have free tutoring centers on campus. 13) Sit near the front of class. 47) Sleep.
The free five minute personality test! Your Existing Situation "Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met." Your Stress Sources "Would love a partner with which to share a happy and conflict free existence, but her need for individuality causes her to be over critical and demanding. Your Restrained Characteristics Current situations force her into compromise and placing her own hopes and desires on hold for the time being. "Seeking to broaden her horizons and believes her hopes and dreams are realistic. Conceited and is easily insulted. Your Desired Objective Searching for ways to relieve stress. Your Actual Problem "Wants to be valued and respected, seeks a close and peaceful relationship with a shared respect of each other." Your Actual Problem #2 "Tends to be too trusting, so she must protect herself from this or she runs the risk of being misunderstood or used by others.
How the Brain Stops Time One of the strangest side-effects of intense fear is time dilation, the apparent slowing-down of time. It's a common trope in movies and TV shows, like the memorable scene from The Matrix in which time slows down so dramatically that bullets fired at the hero seem to move at a walking pace. In real life, our perceptions aren't keyed up quite that dramatically, but survivors of life-and-death situations often report that things seem to take longer to happen, objects fall more slowly, and they're capable of complex thoughts in what would normally be the blink of an eye. Now a research team from Israel reports that not only does time slow down, but that it slows down more for some than for others. An intriguing result, and one that raises a more fundamental question: how, exactly, does the brain carry out this remarkable feat? Researcher David Eagleman has tackled his very issue in a very clever way . Was it scary enough to generate a sense of time dilation?
How to Read Body Language: 7 steps (with pictures) Key Points Look for emotional cues, such as crying, anger, or embarrassment. More ↓Look for physical cues to determine the status of a relationship. ↓Learn how to read eyes and body language for attraction cues. ↓Study a person's eyes, facial expressions, and body language to read specific cues, such as power Steps Reading Emotional Cues <img alt="Image titled Read Body Language Step 1" src=" width="728" height="546" class="whcdn" onload="WH.performance.clearMarks('image1_rendered'); WH.performance.mark('image1_rendered');">1Watch for crying. <img alt="Image titled Read Body Language Step 5" src=" width="728" height="546" class="whcdn">5Notice any manifestations of pride. Reading Relational Cues Reading Attraction Cues