Pope Joke The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mpg, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Patrol in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. "It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?" "No Sir!" "Is it the Governor?" "No! "Is it the PRESIDENT??? "Well WHO IN THE HECK is it?" "I don't know Sir." replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."
11 Yearbook Photos That Musicians Wish We'd Never Seen Every once in a while, I write down a piece of advice I'd like to pass on to my kids one day. (In fact, these pieces of advice may soon form an 11Points list.) The addition that sparked this list: Take each yearbook photos as serious as life or death. ... Psychadellivision by ~Volcanic-Penguin on deviantART ONCE UPON A TIME a prince asked a beautiful... - Memerial.net Problem Gambling F.lux: software to make your life better Man trapped in coma for 23 years was conscious for entire time // Current To Our Faithful Current.com Users: Current's run has ended after eight exciting years on air and online. The Current TV staff has appreciated your interest, support, participation and unflagging loyalty over the years. Your contributions helped make Current.com a vibrant place for discussing thousands of interesting stories, and your continued viewership motivated us to keep innovating and find new ways to reflect the voice of the people. We now welcome the on-air and digital presence of Al Jazeera America, a new news network committed to reporting on and investigating real stories affecting the lives of everyday Americans in every corner of the country. Thank you for inspiring and challenging us. – The Current TV Staff
What we SHOULD have been taught in our senior year of high school All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. Please don't steal. TheOatmeal.com was lovingly built using CakePHP All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. Please don't steal. TheOatmeal.com was lovingly built using CakePHP Earth, Meet Your Long-Lost Sibling: The Christmas Planet It may sound like something from a very special episode of Doctor Who, but the Christmas planet is real. What's more, it's the most Earth-like world yet discovered. The planet, more properly known as Kepler 22-b, was revealed to the world Monday via a press conference at NASA Ames Research Center. So why call it the Christmas Planet? "It's a great gift," said William Borucki, the telescope's principal investigator, who came up with the seasonal name. Actually making our way to the Christmas Planet might take a little longer, however. But we do know it's about twice the size of Earth, and that the average surface temperature is a balmy 72 degrees Farenheit.
The OSTRICH Story A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual asks the waitress?" "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" found an old lamp. me two wishes. would always be there."