DO. NOT. REACT. Tips for surviving & mastering confrontation, with grace — in business & in love. Pop quiz, people: How do you drop an atom bomb of sudden, unexpected (and quite possibly, undesirable) information on someone you care about — without behaving like a cruel, dispassionate ogre? If you’re the unfortunate recipient of the aforementioned atom bomb, how do you respond with compassion — instead of setting off a furious chain reaction? To answer incendiary questions like these, we’re going to need a little professional help. Enter: Tina Tessina, Ph.D, L.M.F.T. Ah, sweet serendipity. I discovered Dr. I’ve evolved considerably since then, but I (still) love Tina’s all-heart, no drama approach to communication, intimacy and Grown-Up Love. And today, we’re bringing you our combined communication powers . . . so that the next time you drop (or receive) a BOMB — in business or in love — you can respond like a sagacious adult, not a reactionary toddler. If you’re the BOMB RECEIVER . . . When the bomb drops, STOP. Tell your partner: “You’ve given me a lot to think about. Try asking: AND!
12 (More!) Combat-Ready Comebacks Last week’s Combat-Ready Comebacks post was quite the sleeper box-office hit. Your comments were intriguing, compelling and inspiring. Most importantly, I got schooled about using the word “lame” (as in, “physically disabled”) as a synonym for “bad.” I’m riding the comeback wave, and dishing out 12 more self-assured, assertive statements — based on your impassioned requests. I wanna hear these lifescripts echoing in hallowed halls across the nation. SETTING: You’re browsing through the Discount Strumpet Aisle at Forever 21, in search of seasonal finery. Instead of saying: “No, you’re not!” If your friend ISN’T fat, try saying: “Hey, doll, you’re gorgeous. Or perhaps: “You’re fat. If your friend IS fat, try saying: “Yup, you’re fat. SETTING: You’re an inked-up vixen. “{ Insert expletive here }, you shallow cowbell!” Try saying: “That’s interesting. Or: “And you’d be prettier if you weren’t covered in all that bigotry!” Or: “I couldn’t help but overhear your comment about my body. { Nothing }
9 Combat-Ready Comebacks Today, I’m offering up a platter of 9 combat-ready comebacks for 3 all-too-common situations. Memorize ‘em. Customize ‘em. Walk tall, and rise above it all. SETTING: You’re strutting down the street, sipping on a pumpkin spice latte, feeling bourgeoisie and fancy-free. Suddenly, a clipboard-wielding nonprofit employee harangues you on the curb, asking for a monthly contribution to their (admittedly noble) cause. Instead of saying: “Um, uh, sure.” { Awkwardly fumble for credit card, feeling guilty, resentful & glum } Try saying: “I think the work you’re doing is commendable — and I’d be happy to jot down your organization’s URL so I can research it later — but as a rule, I avoid making spontaneous financial decisions on street-corners. “I choose three nonprofits to support each year, and that’s all my budget can accommodate. “I can’t commit to a monthly membership, but I’ll happily write you a one-time check for twenty bucks if it helps your cause. { Nothing } Try saying: “Gay? “Dude.
Let's all reclaim our bodies and hug each other - WARNING: Picture might be considered obscene... Arsenic in rice: how concerned should you be? If you knew there was arsenic in your food, would you eat it? More importantly, would you serve it to your children? Recently, Consumer Reports Magazine released their analysis of arsenic levels in rice products, and the results were concerning. Popular rice products including white rice, brown rice, organic rice baby cereal, and rice breakfast cereals, were all found to contain arsenic, a potent carcinogen that can also be harmful to a child’s developing brain. “In virtually every product tested, we found measurable amounts of total arsenic in its two forms. The study not only found a significant amount of arsenic in many rice products on the market, but also that arsenic levels in the blood directly increase with greater rice consumption.(1) Several products tested had more arsenic in each serving than the 5 parts per billion (ppb) limit for adults set by the EPA as safe. (2) White rice can be a “safe” starch I don’t think it’s necessary to completely eliminate rice from the diet.
How To Make Good Things Happen Email This guest post was written by Diggy, author of Upgrade Reality. When wild animals are first captured and put into zoo cages they try everything to get out of that cage. They bite it, run into it with their full weight, and claw at the cage. They persist for weeks and months and they take any chance they can to free themselves. But after a few years of captivity these wild animals lose their fierce desire to be free. Are you like these wild animals in a cage? You may think your past is indicative of your future, and that you’ve been cast in an imprisoning mold. The mindset of your past being indicative of your future is a trap – an extremely easy and unnecessary trap. Your Wake-Up Call “Everything you can imagine is real.” Your reality can be whatever you want it to be. Often things are not as difficult as they seem: For years athletes couldn’t run one mile in under four minutes. This is also true for how you have lived your life from the day you were born until this very moment.
Three Ways to Find Quiet Every Single Day By: Mary Beth LaRue In our bustling day-to-day lives, it’s far too easy to shift into autopilot, hardly even noticing the beauty and little (or sometimes very big!) miracles around us. Even during the busiest of days, when even making it to our yoga mat feels like a chore, there must be time for quiet to keep us in a state of balance. How? It’s so simple. 1. 2. 3. And lastly, practice compassion with yourself. Mary Beth LaRue is a full-time yoga instructor and writer living out her dreams in Venice Beach.
Art and Money: How to Thrive as an Artist without Selling Out Facebook Natural Remedies for Panic Attacks You Can Do By Yourself Most people do not realize that those suffering from anxiety disorders not only need help to stop panic attacks, but lots of understanding as well. This failure to be a more sympathetic to them stems from the fact that healthy folks do not really understand what sufferers go through nor do they understand the real reason behind anxiety attacks. To normal folks, the best way to stop panic attacks is to give the sufferers anti-anxiety drugs. This does not have to be the case. Unknown to most people and to many anxiety disorder sufferers, there are other natural remedies for panic attacks. Anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs are not the answer. To help someone with anxiety disorder overcome their ailment, recommend to them some very effective natural remedies for panic attacks that exist today. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Doing several of these recommended methods in combination can help stop panic attacks for good. Worthy of mentioning also is cognitive behavioural therapy.
Dropping The Supposed Tos Post by Jo Anna Rothman. print by caryndrexl on etsy Dropping The Supposed Tos The supposed tos. Expectations weigh heavy. Except we don’t. Success is not guaranteed by doing what you are supposed to. Place limits on your life and your life will be limited. Maybe it’s time to leave them on the side of the road. We are not supposed to... but let's do them anyway. Why Your Subconscious Keeps You From Greatness (& What to Do About It) How many times have you gotten right to the precipice of major life change only to fall back into old, comfortable habits, leaving your goals hanging in the ether? For me, it’s been countless. Having fought so hard to overcome clinical depression, OCD and my battle with weight loss, I’ve roller-coastered all over the place. I would start making headway with my positive thinking habits, only to go through a breakup and give up trying entirely because I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Every time I seemed to get to that tipping point, it felt like something would shove me full-force right back into my old habits! It’s one of the most frustrating experiences. As you watch those life-changers achieve those lofty goals, it’s easy to lose sight of how difficult change is. Those forces that keep shoving us back and away from our big goals are our Subconscious Saboteurs (SS); they crop up in the form of fear, resistance and doubt when your body/mind gets close to a monumental shift. 1. 2. 3.
The Voice of Fear I tell my students at the Vancouver Gatherings that fear is the greatest barrier to creativity. I tell them to bring their fears into the light, to give their fears a chance to say their piece, then to call bullshit and move on. I tell them this because the alternative is to leave our fears muttering to us from the shadows, the unknown places of our lives. In the more intimate conversations about this stuff I acknowledge my own fears, only to get that confession brushed aside as often as not, as though the cumulative voices of 40 years of my own fears can be silenced by a few published books, 25,000 Twitter followers, and the fact that in the eyes of others you’ve “made it.” I’m afraid. So because I will never be the man that lives without fear, I give those fears a chance to be heard. And so I tell my students that it’s true. If the studies are to be believed, more North Americans fear speaking in public than they fear death. Our problem, I think, is not that we fear.
(5) Jason Kowing - Google+ - We interrupt your regularly flowing stream for a lit... We interrupt your regularly flowing stream for a little Q&A: A friend of mine on another forum asked this question and I answered with the thought below. My question to you good plussers is... what do you do? The Q: What do you do to help yourself feel better when you make a mistake? My A: I also beat myself up after I make a mistake, embarrass myself or trip over my own feet. The thing is, after so many mistakes (and I'm sure I've made more than most people) I finally have an opportunity to look back over the consequences of them all and realize that without them, I wouldn't be the man I am today. What I teach my daughter is perseverance and patience are the greatest tools we can have when confronting a mistake. Perseverance and patience are the two things we can always count on to watch those ripples and see what they do, how they come back to us, how they embrace us and make us who we are this very moment. So what do you guys think? We now return you to your regularly flowing stream.