47 General Psychology Facts I’ve decided to start a series called 100 Things You Should Know about People. As in: 100 things you should know if you are going to design an effective and persuasive website, web application or software application. Or maybe just 100 things that everyone should know about humans! The order that I’ll present these 100 things is going to be pretty random. Dr. <div class="slide-intro-bottom"><a href=" 8 Ways To Stay Positive About This Goddamn Stupid Recession Hey, did you read that awesome title? I love this recession! Exclamation point! Losing my job in 2008 was the best thing to happen to me since I lost my job in 2001. So allow me to inspire the fuck out of you. I Have All This Free Time! You never realize how much of your life you spend at work, until you're out of it. Paul Newman died?? My days are not planned out around the lunch breaks and tee-times of some higher up. I'm Making New Friends! Since I don't have an office to commute to anymore, I'm getting to know the people in my neighborhood. Doris requests that I give her privacy while she cooks. I've even found a local watering hole just like the bar on Cheers. I'm Investing in My Future! I'm not just hanging around, waiting to hear back from all the jobs I've applied for. Just because I'm unemployed, doesn't mean I don't care about our environment. I'm Dating an Awesome New Woman! When I had a stupid job, I'd spend all my time depressed. Can you believe I once did the Atkins diet?
6 Family Circus Cartoons Improved with Dick Jokes A year ago, I designed a robot whose only purpose was adding jokes to Family Circus cartoons. Most robotic engineers told me I was crazy. They said things like, "You're only taping a smile onto cancer," or "I knew this day would come -- my robots are penetrating me." But I didn't stop. Family Circus has been shitting in the mouth of comedy for 51 years and we need to fight back. That's where PG-13 comes in. PG-13 is a sophisticated and outrageous joke-writing A.I. leashed by the Motion Picture Association of America's PG-13 rating system. Grandma's Linguistic Misunderstanding A lot of people would save Abraham Lincoln if they had a time machine. The Family Circus goes after homophone comedy with all the likability and grace of a drowning sex offender. It's not only not funny, but it's a wild, wild stretch that children this stupid would be allowed anywhere near stamplers or sleeping tea. I told PG-13 to get these cartoons out of my sight. How One Word Can Change Everything
DISCERN Artificial Neural Network - How to Build a Schizophrenic Computer Justin Ruckman/Flickr Advertisement - Continue Reading Below Schizophrenia is one of the most infamous and mysterious mental disorders. Attempting to get to the root of the problem, scientists recently came up with an extraordinary solution: They built a schizophrenic computer. In a study published in the online version of Biological Psychiatry in March, researchers altered an artificial neural network capable of learning language and stories, to the point where it started "acting" schizophrenic. People who suffer from schizophrenia often have difficulty thinking logically or discerning what is real or not real in their lives. To make a schizophrenic computer, they began with an artificial neural network called DISCERN that Miikkulainen has been working on intermittently since the 1990s. Hoffman and his colleagues then started to tell simple stories to the computer. In DISCERN, the process begins in a module called the sentence parser, which examines each sentence one word at a time.
6 Movie Monsters That Just Wouldn't Work Here at Cracked, we take science fiction movies very, very seriously. So when a creature flick comes along that is so preposterously ridiculous, so patently absurd, so monstrously unscientific ... well, we don't actually notice until years later when we need a premise for an article. But then we have no choice but to feel betrayed and scream "BULLSHIT!" at the top of our lungs. As seen in: Alien It latched on to a guy's mouth and pumped its offspring down his throat, which later burst out of the poor fool's chest. Why We Call Bullshit: What do aliens eat? Alien tries to bullshit its way around this by saying that the Alien's DNA merges with the host; this becomes totally ridiculous when you realize that, despite sharing a good 99.9 percent of our DNA with chimps, we're still genetically incompatible with the fuckers. Hello, ladies. As seen in: Return of the Jedi There's no way the Sarlacc could get enough sustenance to survive. Enjoy your sandwich, Sarlacc. As seen in: King Kong, duh Oh, it is.
The 6 Most Disturbingly Evil Birds Birds are the most majestic creatures on Earth -- we plaster them on our cars, flags and coins. You see them soaring up there, and think they're above all the petty savagery down here on the ground. Well, it turns out they're dicks. Golden Eagles Will Drop Your Ass The golden eagle is perhaps the most revered bird in the entire world. It is the national bird of five countries and has been featured on the coat of arms of nearly a dozen others. GettyOrnithologists consider the golden eagle to be the "guido" of the Animal Kingdom. Why? Getty"It's about damn time, evolution." Ah, but now, you are dropping to the ground, your slow turtle brain barely able to register the horror as the rocks rush up at you from hundreds of feet below. Rather than bothering to pry the tender tortoise meat from the shell, the eagle simply grabs the whole creature, soars as high as it can and drops it, letting gravity and the rocks below do the shell-shattering work. Getty"Turtles are small fry, Earl.
What's He Saying? 'Bahh' Or 'Fahh'? A Brain Mystery : Krulwich Wonders... I love illusions, where your brain makes weird things happen. Those of you who come here often have seen some doozies, but this one ... oooh, this is one of the strangest. The question is: Which is more powerful, your eyes or your ears? Watch this clip and experience "The McGurk Effect." Your ears will feel ashamed. The McGurk Effect is named for a psychologist from Scotland, Harry McGurk, working with John MacDonald. Not only that, even if your brain knows this is an illusion, you still can't hear the truth unless you close your eyes. Why Does This Happen? Does sight always beat sound? Does anybody know?
The 6 Stupidest Internet Reactions To Shocking News Stories Back in the old days, any shocking news stories would hit the public's consciousness first when a paperboy would shout the lurid headlines at them as they walked to work or tried to get their shoes shined, if old gangster movies are accurate documentaries of early 20th century life. Nowadays they hit the Internet first, and the Internet reacts, as you might expect, stupidly. Here are a few of the most predictable and annoying reactions you'll get on any big story. #6. "I Don't Understand Why You're All So Shocked By This." "This is just another case of ____. Fill in the blank with "someone from X group doing Y stereotypical behavior." Sure, sometimes stories are obviously slow news day stories that deserve the "Why is this news?" Sometimes this comes from well-intentioned people who aren't observant enough to notice what's unusual about the story. That might be a bit extreme, but a lot of simple people can oversimplify a story so that in summary, of course it sounds like a cliche. #5.
4 Cliché Movie Moments Explained by Psychology There are certain rules that extend across nearly every movie universe which we as an audience have to accept. Bad guys will always attack one at time, high school girls will always date a guy they fundamentally hate and pedestrians will never end up in wheel wells during car chases. While the rules may seem completely divorced from reality, some of the more staggering clichés actually have science on their side. "Mmmm, I'm full off of all your collective disappointment." One of the most ubiquitous clichés in film, the slow clap shows up so often and across so many genres of movies that entire compilations have been created in its honor. Its power lies in the slow clap's ability to sway the opinion of an entire crowd, not with words or ideas, but with the sound of two pieces of flesh slamming against each other. The psychology behind it: Even the most opinionated and judgmental people in the world are susceptible to the power of group mentality. Getting Moral in the Mirror
10 Psychological Experiments That Went Horribly Wrong Psychology as we know it is a relatively young science, but since its inception it has helped us to gain a greater understanding of ourselves and our interactions with the world. Many psychological experiments have been valid and ethical, allowing researchers to make new treatments and therapies available, and giving other insights into our motivations and actions. Sadly, others have ended up backfiring horribly — ruining lives and shaming the profession. Here are ten psychological experiments that spiraled out of control. 10. Prisoners and guards In 1971, social psychologist Philip Zimbardo set out to interrogate the ways in which people conform to social roles, using a group of male college students to take part in a two-week-long experiment in which they would live as prisoners and guards in a mock prison. 9. Wendell Johnson, of the University of Iowa, who was behind the study Theodore Kaczynski, the Unabomber, also seen top 7. 6. The Milgram Experiment underway 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.
The 7 Most Easily Escapable Movie Monsters When victim and movie monster square off, it's not exactly a chess match. Here's seven monsters that anyone with working legs and the IQ of a well-trained Dalmatian could escape. Samara Morgan from The Ring How will she kill you? How can you win? Well, for the observant victim, Samara's main weakness is that you know when she's going to come get you. Since nobody seems to have tried this, we don't know if she'll wait, biting her non-nails in your cathode ray tube until the new season of Battlestar Galactica starts and you have to come back. Also, maybe try to mess with her. The Predator from Predator How will it kill you? The Predator's weakness is honor. Also, it seems to have a bomb built inside it somewhere, activated by pushing buttons on its wrist. If you can wait until it's asleep and turn that thing on, all you have to do is run. Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre How will he kill you? Leatherface is stupid. The demon Pazuzu from The Exorcist How will he kill you?
10 Movies That Famous People Don't Want You to See Hey, remember The Star Wars Holiday Special, which George Lucas has basically begged you to never watch? It turns out there are a whole bunch of movies that the stars have been trying to hide from everyone, mainly because they're afraid someone will make fun of them. That's all right, though. Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger's Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994) If you look closely at the horror section of the video store, you may notice something odd: a cheesy The Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel you've never heard of that happens to feature two Hollywood superstars as the leads. The movie is Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, which the studio buried to avoid pissing off a respected actor. GettyThis guy. Originally known by the equally nonsensical title of The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the 1994 movie starred Matthew McConaughey (who was months away from becoming an A-list star) as a psychopath with a robotic leg. OK, never mind.