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Funny Quotes and One-Liners

Funny Quotes and One-Liners
As powerful as inspirational quotes can be, sometimes we just need a bit of humor to lighten up our day. For those occasions, funny quotes and one-liners are quite effective, especially when they poke fun at our everyday annoyances, whether it be politics, work, aging or marriage. Not content with finding these humorous quotes on only bumper stickers, we set out to put together a list of them. After browsing through quotation websites like Quotery, Wikiquote, and BQ for a couple hours, we were able to find quite a few gems. Below, you’ll find the Top 100: Funny Quotes and One-Liners that are sure to put a smile on your face. 1. ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? 2. 3. 4. ”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” - Unknown 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. ”If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” - Sam Levenson 17. 18. 19. 20. Like what you read?

Lots of Jokes - Anger Management When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it... I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.' I politely said, 'This is Chris. Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, And put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!' It always cheered me up.

100 Websites You Should Know and Use In the spring of 2007, Julius Wiedemann, editor in charge at Taschen GmbH, gave a legendary TED University talk: an ultra-fast-moving ride through the “100 websites you should know and use.” Six years later, it remains one of the most viewed TED blog posts ever. Time for an update? To see the original list, click here. And now, the original list from 2007, created by Julius Wiedemann, editor in charge at Taschen GmbH. In the spring of 2007, Julius Wiedemann, editor in charge at Taschen GmbH, gave a legendary TED University talk: an ultra-fast-moving ride through the “100 websites you should know and use.” To see the original list, click here. And now, the original list from 2007, created by Julius Wiedemann, editor in charge at Taschen GmbH.

$50 Reward for The Original Set Of Dungeons & Dragons Dice (All Pink) I am looking for these dice. I am offering the reward as payment to purchase the dice. The dice for this game will be added to the Guinness record worlds largest collection of dice. ... ... Here are some details about this reward: 1) The Reward is for locating and supplying the die / dice in question. If you do not wish to supply the die / dice .. but are able to supply a resource where the die / dice can be acquired for the 'reward' price ... a 'finders fee' will be offered 2) I watch EBAY regularly for DICE .. but not specifically for each game listed 3) I only need the dice ... but it would be nice to also have the box ... so I can add information to BoardGameGeek.com 4) A lower reward may be considered if a complete set cannot be found. 5) Images were acquired from BoardGameGeek.com ... 7) Some photographs may contain multiple pictures of the die / dice ... this is done for clarity unless otherwise noted in the photo.

25 new great quotes! Here’s a new collection of great quotes by some of the most inspirational men and women that ever walked this earth. If you do like them and find them inspirational or helpful in some way, check out the links below for similar posts. We have created over 20+ of these galleries, so there is lots more to be seen. Also, be sure to inspire your coworkers, friends and family by sharing these quotes with them. More popular posts with great quotes – Inspirational Quotes – Famous quotes to ponder upon Check out all of our galleries with great quotes here: Cold War Cold War: Postwar Estrangement The Western democracies and the Soviet Union discussed the progress of World War II and the nature of the postwar settlement at conferences in Tehran (1943), Yalta (February 1945), and Potsdam (July-August 1945). After the war, disputes between the Soviet Union and the Western democracies, particularly over the Soviet takeover of East European states, led Winston Churchill to warn in 1946 that an "iron curtain" was descending through the middle of Europe. For his part, Joseph Stalin deepened the estrangement between the United States and the Soviet Union when he asserted in 1946 that World War II was an unavoidable and inevitable consequence of "capitalist imperialism" and implied that such a war might reoccur. The Cold War was a period of East-West competition, tension, and conflict short of full-scale war, characterized by mutual perceptions of hostile intention between military-political alliances or blocs. Telegram to President Truman

Why Nikola Tesla was the greatest geek who ever lived Additional notes from the author: If you want to learn more about Tesla, I highly recommend reading Tesla: Man Out of Time Also, this Badass of the week by Ben Thompson is what originally inspired me to write a comic about Tesla. Ben's also got a book out which is packed full of awesome. There's an old movie from the 80s on Netflix Instant Queue right now about Tesla: The Secret of Nikola Tesla.

Physics 20b: Introduction to Cosmology - Spring 2010 - Download free content from UC Irvine on iTunes - StumbleUpon How to Make Wealth May 2004 (This essay was originally published in Hackers & Painters.) If you wanted to get rich, how would you do it? Startups usually involve technology, so much so that the phrase "high-tech startup" is almost redundant. Lots of people get rich knowing nothing more than that. The Proposition Economically, you can think of a startup as a way to compress your whole working life into a few years. Here is a brief sketch of the economic proposition. Like all back-of-the-envelope calculations, this one has a lot of wiggle room. If $3 million a year seems high, remember that we're talking about the limit case: the case where you not only have zero leisure time but indeed work so hard that you endanger your health. Startups are not magic. Millions, not Billions If $3 million a year seems high to some people, it will seem low to others. So let's get Bill Gates out of the way right now. There is a large random factor in the success of any company. Money Is Not Wealth The Pie Fallacy Craftsmen

How to win Rock-paper-scissors every time - StumbleUpon I admit it. When I first heard there are actual tournaments for Rock-paper-scissors, sanctioned by the World Rock Paper Scissors Society, I laughed. I mean seriously, $50k to the winner of a game that requires no skill whatsoever? Rock-paper-scissors isn't just a silly game kids play or a way to decide who has to be the designated driver at parties. Males have a tendency to throw rock on their first try, inexperienced RPS players will subconsciously deliver the item that won previously, and paper is thrown least often, so use it as a surprise. Latin Mottos, Latin Phrases, Latin Quotes and Latin Sayings A bene placito - At one's pleasureA capite ad calcem - From head to heelA cappella - In church [style] - i.e. Vocal music onlyA contrario - From a contrary positionA cruce salus - From the cross comes salvationA Deo et Rege - From God and the KingA fortiori - With yet stronger reasonA fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi - A precipice in front, wolves behind (between a rock and a hard place)A mari usque ad mare - From sea to sea (Motto of Canada)A mensa et thoro - From board and bed (legal separation)A pedibus usque ad caput - From feet to headA posse ad esse - From possibility to actualityA posteriori - From what comes after.

Mountains of Books Become Mountains - StumbleUpon I thought I’d seen every type of book carving imaginable, until I ran across these jaw dropping creations by Guy Laramee. His works are so sculptural, so movingly natural in their form, they’ve really touched me. His works are inspired by a fascination with so-called progress in society: a thinking which says the book is dead, libraries are obsolete and technology is the only way of the future. His thoughts: “One might say: so what? Do we really believe that “new technologies” will change anything concerning our existential dilemma, our human condition? See Also INCREDIBLE 3D ILLUSTRATIONS JUMP OUT OF THE SKETCHBOOK Carving into the discarded stacks of books, he has created fantastic, romantic landscapes which remind us that though our fascinations and the value we put on different ideas have changed, we as a species have not evolved that much. “Mountains of disused knowledge return to what they really are: mountains. See more of his beautifully meditative works at guylaramee.com.

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