BORDERLINE WAIFS AND UNSUNG HEROES; Rescuing The Woman Who Doesn't Want To Be Saved.

BORDERLINE WAIFS AND UNSUNG HEROES; Rescuing The Woman Who Doesn't Want To Be Saved. By Shari Schreiber, M.A. www.GettinBetter.com Given the hundreds of letters I get from men who desperately "want to help" the Borderline after their troubling affair has ended, I suppose this article's time has finally come. I understand that you tirelessly tried to assist her, teach her and rescue her during that relationship, and you're wrestling with letting go of this fixation, weeks or months later. You may even be keeping your perceptions about what really went on in your dynamic under wraps, for fear of hurting her feelings--or risking that she won't speak to you again. In essence, you're still walking on eggshells, and putting her needs first. The Borderline Waif seldom exhibits the harsh or volatile traits we've come to associate with other BPD types. Since 'helplessness' is the Waif's core emotional theme, options and choices that are healthier/more productive, are generally avoided.

Children of Mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder - Jane Middelton-Moz Attachment Status and Early Experiences of Mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder Mothers with BPD are characterized by a history of broken relationships and marked instability in multiple domains of their lives. It is anticipated that the characteristic behaviors of BPD will infiltrate the mother-child relationship as much as it interferes with other relationships. Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms in Context of Parenting Characteristic symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder are likely to hinder the ability of a mother with BPD to parent effectively, thereby negatively affecting the social and emotional development of the child. For instance, adults with BPD typically display a pattern of unstable relationships and a host of interpersonal problems (APA, 2000). Likewise, people with BPD often cross interpersonal boundaries and role expectations. Moreover, effective parenting by the mother with BPD is compromised by instability in her sense of her own self.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) The husband enters the main door of the house coming from work. He drags himself to the recliner in front of the television. The wife yells at the husband "I'm the only one who does anything in this house! Really, nothing gets done around here unless I do it. I need to get out of the house and run some errands." The husband looks at her in disbelief. The above scene is typical of relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The husband knows that his BPD wife sleeps until 12 to 2 pm everyday or at least 18 hours a day. The husband works 40-50 hours a week and feels he does not deserve such statements. However, his wife with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) changes her standards at the heat of the moment. The family empathizes with her condition and allows her to sleep as much as she needs. She says, " I hate that you just come home from work and expect dinner to be made, the house immaculate. The husband silently rages. 1.Don't feel resentful 3.Validate her feelings

Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers 1. Everything she does is deniable. There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. She rarely says right out that she thinks you're inadequate. Many of her putdowns are simply by comparison. Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her. 2. Any attempt at autonomy on your part is strongly resisted. 3. 4. 5. She will deliver generalized barbs that are almost impossible to rebut (always in a loving, caring tone): "You were always difficult" "You can be very difficult to love" "You never seemed to be able to finish anything" "You were very hard to live with" "You're always causing trouble" "No one could put up with the things you do." She will slip little comments into conversation that she really enjoyed something she did with someone else - something she did with you too, but didn't like as much. 6. Narcissists gaslight routinely. 7.

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