Toutes des salopes, ou le mythe du mec trop gentil Je vais vous raconter une histoire que vous connaissez déjà. Comme vous la connaissez déjà, pour la rendre un peu plus intéressante, et aussi parce que j’ai faim, les protagoniste auront des noms de fruits. Il était une fois un garçon qui s’appelait Poire. Poire fréquentait des filles. Le voisin de Poire s’appelait Melon. Et pourtant, Poire enviait un peu Melon. Melon, lui, avait plein de copines, alors qu’il ne faisait rien comme il fallait. Poire ne comprenait pas pourquoi les filles aiment les salauds. Non, toujours pas. Toutes des salopes, Ou le mythe du mec trop gentil Je vous laisse deviner la suite de l’histoire. Alors, est-ce que les mecs sont trop gentils? Question métaphysique numéro un: peut-on être trop gentil? Mais au fait, qu’est-ce la gentillesse? Cette histoire, vous la connaissez surement. Mais est-ce que la gentillesse, c’est fait pour rapporter quelque chose? Poire est-il vraiment gentil, ou agit-il dans un but? Que veut Poire? Mais alors, pourquoi ça ne marche pas?
To the Princeton Privileged Kid Here's a real-world anecdote about how my eyes were opened to being a member of a privileged group and an oppressed group at the same time. And how acknowledgement of privilege is important. I'm a white woman. For a short time, I was dating a mixed-race, mostly black, man. One day, I had experienced some sexism, whooo, big whoop. Happens every day. So I finally said, "Do you have any idea what it's like to have to work twice as hard just to be taken half as seriously?" There's a another Privilege club that I think gets less lip service, but also has a lot to do with this: Class privilege.
psychologie-du-cadeau The Privilege of Politeness | The Angry Black Woman Posted by: Naamen Gobert Tilahun One item that comes up over and over in discussions of racism is that of tone/attitude. People of Color (POC) are very often called on their tone when they bring up racism, the idea being that if POC were just more polite about the whole thing the offending person would have listened and apologized right away. This not only derails the discussion but also tries to turn the insults/race issues into the fault of POC and their tone. When someone is accused of racism/prejudice and they don’t want to address the concern or even think about it, well then the POC accusing is too loud, too angry. So if you say something racist I may write a detailed reply pointing it out and teaching a bit. See this post has been brewing a long time which is maybe why I seem so “angry” or “rude”. The question I always ask in these situations and no one ever answers: Why do I (or anyone) have to be polite when we are offended?
Les cadeaux, baromètres du couple ?, Bien-être © detailblick - Fotolia.com A l'approche de la Saint-Valentin, se faire un cadeau est une des façons de dire son amour. Mais le papier de soie et le bolduc enrobent parfois des messages codés plus complexes. À noter Retrouvez l’ouvrage de Sylvie Tenenbaum « Ce que disent nos cadeaux » aux éditions Leduc. « Les cadeaux sont la véritable nourriture affective du couple, c’est dire leur importance ! Cadeau ou message ? « L’an dernier, mon mari m’a offert une semaine de thalassothérapie. Pourtant, gardons-nous d’interprétations trop hâtives : tout dépend du contexte et de l’intention. à double tranchant… Certains ont l’art de se faire des cadeaux… en les offrant aux autres. Le prix, également, est un bon indicateur. Utile… ou monotone à l’inverse de la guêpière et du sex-toy, nous pouvons trouver dans nos petits souliers un splendide robot multifonctions ou une centrale vapeur, pour faire des chemises impeccables… Si nous les avons demandés expressément, l’attention est louable.
(10) privilege-checking and call-out culture : "...what's the biggest challenge we deal with every day? The challenge that has my editors second-guessing every post and quaking in fear, just waiting for the awfulness to begin? It's attacks from our fellow progressives... It's challenging for me because the values motivating these complaints are completely in-line with both my personal politics as well as my professional passion for catering to niche markets and semi-marginalized cultures....This is where this kind of conversation begins to feel more like liberal bullying, where the only correct response is agreeing and acquiescing. (This post was republished in the Guardian.*) Stallings has written about this before - *This website can't be everything to everyone *Walking on egg-shells: the challenges of serving many communities Pyromaniac Harlot - The Unicorn Ally: So, here are the contradictions as I see them. Boldly Go - "Liberal Bullying" Nonsense (and also You Don’t Need Oreos, You’re The Baker’s Son)
Mindy R. Smith: Ten Rules For Navigating The Relationship Minefield Post-Split If you are newly single or divorced, dating again can prove to be quite challenging and intimidating. You may miss the comfort and stability of your previous relationship, but you do not miss the heartache that led to your breakup. Navigating the singles crowd can seem like a scene straight out of "The Hunger Games." 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Strap on your body armor and get out there! Gifts that Insult: What Could Be Worse? Submitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Thursday 14th October 2010 In this articleWhat not to give when you’re in a new romance.Gift no-nos for established, but still new, relationships.Avoiding the hum-drums after one year or more while living together. What could be worse than going to the trouble of getting a gift, and having it — innocently — hurt the recipient’s feelings…or worse? You know the faux lizard skin, remote control holder — specially dyed to match her green eyes? Yeah… and, oops, after you give it to her, you remembered, her eyes are actually blue. There’s nothing like an insult to put you in the doghouse… maybe even one in another zip code. The Never-Give List for New Romances Lingerie.Adult products of any kindAn apronAnything you plug in (unless she’s specifically indicated a yearning for some new gadget) Here’s the deal; this list assumes a new romance means you want to see the girl again and, also that you do not know her all that well - ahem. In general: Yah, big fun…
6 Reasons Gift-Giving Men Are Good Lovers Just recently there have been articles popping up about gift-giving, which can create joy in some and consternation in others. But this piece in the Sydney Morning Herald last week was rather pensive: Taking on the gift of giving . There are times when I think the world can be divided into givers and receivers, but that would be too simple . We were at a lovely dinner party not long ago at which the hostess had picked out a thoughtful gift for each of her 13 guests. The late sexologist Carol Baldwin might agree. After reading some of the literature and talking with several therapists, it seemed apparent, men who are gift givers are better lovers. 6 reasons gift giving men are good lovers: They enjoy the act of giving and therefore are sensitive to a woman’s intimate needs. Stingy man syndrome When I asked Dr. Dr. This is dramatically different style than a person for whom generosity is a source of expansiveness and abundance. Dr. Essentially, Dr. HAVE YOU READ THIS?
Susan Patton: Why I Told Female Princeton Students To Find A Husband Since publishing a letter to the editor in the Daily Princetonian Friday, some people have asked me to clarify whether I intended it to be read as satire. My letter was serious. I sincerely feel that too much focus has been placed on encouraging young women only to achieve professionally. I understand that this can be seen as retrogressive, but for those women who aspire to what used to be thought of as a traditional life with home and family, there is almost no ink addressing personal fulfillment outside of the workplace. Specifically, finding lifelong friends and the right partner with whom to share a life and raise a family. Again, I understand that all women don't want marriage (to men or other women) and or children, but for those that do, identifying the right partner is critical. The popularity of Nikki Mueller's video (I Went to Princeton, Bitch) comically attests to the difficulty Princeton women face from men who are threatened by their academic credentials.