Accept Yourself as You Are, Even When Others Don’t “What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer “You’re too quiet.” This comment and others like it have plagued me almost all my life. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that I needed to come out of my shell, to be livelier, or to talk more. As a child and teenager, I allowed these remarks to hurt me deeply. When I did, the response was often, “Wow! This would make me just want to crawl back into my shell and hide. The older I got, the angrier I became. If only it were that simple, I thought. At 17, I thought I’d found the perfect solution: alcohol. When I was drunk, everyone seemed to like me. Another strategy was to attach myself to a more outgoing friend. Although I didn’t do it consciously, wherever I went I would make friends with someone much louder than me. Sometimes I just tried faking it. When I was 24, I began teaching English as a Foreign Language, and a month into my first contract in Japan, I was told my students found me difficult to talk to.
Eight Ways to Find People Like You » This Offbeat Life I may well have found the secret to getting unstuck. Find a place to belong. Find people like you. A young woman at Chris Guillebeau’s 1000-maniac gathering in Portland, Oregon, the World Domination Summit, discovered that after enduring geographic and social isolation, she traveled 5000 miles away, and there was the answer to her isolation – she found “People Like Her.” It occurred to me that this is also, for me, at the very heart of every frustrated moment in my current life. So. I can’t find people like me.They already have each other and there’s no room for me.I can’t figure out how to reciprocate.I can’t afford to be with those people.I’m not sure these people are people like me.I’m not worthy.Fill your calendar with interesting possibilities.Exercise leadership and assemble your own group. 1. This part is simple and success builds quickly when you put in the time. Here’s the transcript.Here’s the 23 minute video.The Cliff’s Notes version: Get Out. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.
Social Mistakes Intellectual People Can Make Being smart is awesome. Smart people have an easier time of life and contribute more to the world. I think everyone should develop their intellects. However, there are some social mistakes that are mainly made by people who identify themselves as being intellectuals. I think these behaviors originate in the messages about intelligence that some people learn as they're growing up. There's also a loose culture among people who think of themselves as smarter than average, and many of the behaviors below can be picked up through it. Unnecessarily telling people about random trivia This one is usually pretty minor and harmless. Getting overly discouraged when others aren't enthusiastic about their interests A brainy person may become interested in an esoteric and/or highly technical topic and feel discouraged when everyone seems to brush them off when they try to talk about it. Being intellectually showy and arrogant Inappropriately correcting people There are a few reasons people may do this:
Cognitive Distortions And Socializing Many of the problems and conflicts people face are sustained in part by distorted, maladaptive thinking: Someone who's shy often sees other people as more critical and judgmental than they really are. A person struggling with anxiety may see the world as exaggeratedly dangerous, and underestimate their ability to cope. Someone who's depressed will look at everything through a bleak, hopeless, pessimistic lens. Chronically angry people often read hostile intent into the other people's neutral or benignly thoughtless actions. A man who's insecure in his relationships may constantly interpret what his girlfriend says as a sign she doesn't really like him. I could easily give hundreds more examples. This article will describe these main cognitive distortions. As you read the descriptions below you'll likely notice that several of the distortions blur into each other or produce similar outcomes. All-or-Nothing Thinking / Black and White Thinking Seeing things in simplistic, absolute terms.
'+windowtitle+' We often think about the future as being in front of us and the past as being at our back – as we walk, places we pass are behind us, and places we have yet to reach lie ahead. But not every culture views time the same way. For instance, although the Arabic dialect spoken in Morocco refers to time in the same way that English does, previous research suggests that Moroccans have a tendency to see the past as being in front of them and the future as being behind them. Psychological scientist Juanma de la Fuente of the University of Granada and colleagues hypothesized that differences in how we perceive time result not from language or from how our bodies are oriented, but from whether we’re more focused on the past or the future. In the first of a series of experiments, 125 Spanish and Moroccan college students read a story and viewed a cartoon character with a box in front of him and a box behind him. De la Fuente and colleagues also looked at within-culture differences.
8 Things Everybody Ought to Know About Concentrating “Music helps me concentrate,” Mike said to me glancing briefly over his shoulder. Mike was in his room writing a paper for his U.S. History class. On his desk next to his computer sat crunched Red Bulls, empty Gatorade bottles, some extra pocket change and scattered pieces of paper. In the pocket of his sweat pants rested a blaring iPod with a chord that dangled near the floor, almost touching against his Adidas sandals. Mike made a shift about every thirty seconds between all of the above. Do you know a person like this? The Science Behind Concentration In the above account, Mike’s obviously stuck in a routine that many of us may have found ourselves in, yet in the moment we feel it’s almost an impossible routine to get out of. When we constantly multitask to get things done, we’re not multitasking, we’re rapidly shifting our attention. Phase 1: Blood Rush Alert When Mike decides to start writing his History essay, blood rushes to his anterior prefrontal cortex. Phase 2: Find and Execute
7 Common Habits of Unhappy People Image by Mitya Kuznetsov (license). “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” Marcus Aurelius “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust Circumstances can certainly make life unhappy. In this article I’d like to share 7 of the most destructive daily habits that can create quite a bit of unhappiness within and in your own little world. But I’ll also share what has worked, what has helped me to minimize or overcome these habits in my life. 1. Does life has to be perfect before you are happy? Do you have to behave in a perfect way and get perfect results to be happy? Then happiness will not be easy to find. How to overcome this habit: Three things that helped me to kick the perfectionism habit and become more relaxed: Go for good enough. 2. No one is an island. It becomes a lot harder to be happier if you let yourself be dragged down by negative voices. 3. 4. 5.
20 Things to Do When You’re Feeling Angry with Someone “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” ~Chinese proverb As Tiny Buddha grows larger, I find there are a lot more people emailing me with requests. The people pleaser in me wants to say yes to everyone, but the reality is that there is only so much time in the day—and we all have a right to allocate our time as best supports our intentions, needs, and goals. Recently someone contacted me with a request that I was unable to honor. As ironic as this may sound given the context of this site, I felt angry. I felt angry because I have always struggled with saying no, and this was exactly the type of uncomfortable encounter I generally aim to avoid. I felt angry because I felt misunderstood and judged, and I wanted him to realize that he was wrong about me. I felt angry because I assumed he intended to be hurtful, and I didn’t feel like I deserved that. It’s inevitable that I’ll feel that way again—and many times, with people I know well and love. 1.
What Annoying Situations Teach Us About Ourselves “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung He was shorter than me with a mustache, and he was positioning himself in front of me, but just off to the side of the line. He was traveling with a young teen, probably his son. I knew that when the line moved, he would take one assertive step and insert himself and his kid into the line ahead of me. I sneaked a look at his boarding pass and it read B53. I checked in exactly 24 hours before the flight, specifically so I could be in the A group. Not only was he butting, he wasn’t even an A. He smiled at me. I was flying home to Oakland from Denver, and on the ride over something similar had happened. On that flight, it wasn’t clear who was a butter and who wasn’t, so I didn’t say anything. Here was the choice again, and a lousy choice it was, say nothing and feel like a chump, or say something and feel like an uptight agro-jerk. I went for choice B. The line moved forward.
How to tell the Difference: INTP vs ISTP – The Book Addict's Guide to MBTI: Anon asked: Can you do an ISTP/INTP contrast? Dominant Ti Ti dominants like to analyze things. Most of the questions that they ask will be why questions, or questions of how things work. Ti doms usually like to think through their thoughts in silence, and don’t usually think out loud (though there are always exceptions to any rule). Their sense of logic will typically be internally based and not necessarily reliant on any form of external evidence or outward logic –further reason for why they will want to work through it in the silence of their own minds. I’ve known IxTPs to fall into communication barriers as a result of this, simply because they will have carried out conversations in their head, but not necessarily realize that they haven’t vocalized those conversations. Often times, IxTPs will value minimalism and efficiency, albeit they will not always achieve it. Auxiliary Se vs Ne INTPs love ideas. Don’t take that as gospel however. Listen to them tell stories Tertiary Ni vs Si Related
How to Keep Long Distance Relationship - bestcatcher.com Home » How to Keep Long Distance Relationship 28th June 201611:26 amJuvy Ann Lim Many believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Long distance relationship may be tough, things could get complicated. There will be moments in which it feels like every bone in your body aches. I hate waiting. If fate has thrown you into a long distance relationship, here are some helpful tips: Create trustBuilding trust is the most important element that will keep couple. A few Last Words It is hard to find true love in this world. “Distance is just a test to see how far love can travel” Click here to watch a free short presentation And Discover one simple skill to make them addicted to you How To Harness Your Thoughts To Get The Life You Want Free report shows you how to shrug off your past failures and train your brain to create success in all areas of your life Related 3 Rules of Pillow Talk August 20, 2016 In "Relationships" The 5 Best Visualizations for Finding True Love July 4, 2016
DoctorYourself.com: Andrew Saul's Natural Health Website A Splintered Mind: Saying "No" to Suicide by Douglas R. Cootey According to the CDC, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US for all ages. Even if the numbers seem small compared to other causes of death, the hole left in our lives by somebody who took their own life is immense. Saying "NO" to Suicide explores this growing problem in our society by breaking the process of recovery down into steps from developing awareness to developing coping strategies. Cootey uses his own personal experiences, recorded over the past eleven years on his award-winning blog, A Splintered Mind, to explore the different aspects of suicidism and how he successfully retrained his thinking process to escape the downward spiral suicidal ideation creates. Only $4.99 Please remember to rate & review.