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Humor and Hypocrisy from the World of Politics

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo The sentence's meaning becomes clearer when it's understood that it uses three meanings of the word buffalo: the city of Buffalo, New York, the somewhat uncommon verb "to buffalo" (meaning "to bully or intimidate"), as well as the animal buffalo. When the punctuation and grammar are expanded, the sentence could read as follows: "Buffalo buffalo that Buffalo buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo." The meaning becomes even clearer when synonyms are used: "Buffalo bison that other Buffalo bison bully, themselves bully Buffalo bison." Sentence construction Bison engaged in a contest of dominance. A comic explaining the concept The sentence is unpunctuated and uses three different readings of the word "buffalo". Marking each "buffalo" with its use as shown above gives: Buffaloa buffalon Buffaloa buffalon buffalov buffalov Buffaloa buffalon. "New York bison New York bison bully, bully New York bison", or:"New York bison whom other New York bison bully, themselves bully New York bison". Usage

Alright Republicans, We Give Up. (From the diaries -- kos) Dear Republicans, Over the past week, we have seen your passionate protests and heard your concerns about Democratic proposals for health care reform. We have considered your insightful and well reasoned arguments, and on behalf of progressives everywhere, I am here to say: OK! In accordance with your cogent and potent criticisms, these are the terms of our concession: We will not euthanize your grandmother. ... yep, we did. We will not allow the government to have direct access to your bank account. With these concessions having been made, I trust that we can now move forward on health care reform with a broad, bipartisan consensus. Congratulations, Republicans.

LeftWingConspiracy.com Colorado Libraries McSweeney's Internet Tendency: First Drafts of the Parables of Jesus. Jesus said, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” One of the disciples asked, “What of the man who builds his house inside the house built on the rock? And Jesus said, “No, don’t do that.” At that time a man said unto Jesus, “Jesus! Jesus said, “The Father’s kingdom is like a shepherd who had a hundred sheep. “Wait, what?” And the man became a pillar of salt. “It doesn’t matter,” said Jesus. “But what do you think about this?” “The first!” “The second!” And Jesus said, “Wait, I messed this one up.

I Don't Even Want To Be Alive Anymore | The Onion - America's Finest News Source I know there are a lot of people out there who are upset about some of the things I've been saying on my radio program lately. My comments about the situation in Haiti have hurt and angered many Americans who genuinely care about the plight of the Haitian people, and that hurt and anger will likely never go away. Many of you are probably wondering, "What would compel a human being to say things like that?" Well, here's your answer: I am a very bad person. And, to tell you the truth, I don't really want to be alive anymore. Try to look at it from my point of view. I don't enjoy that stuff. The irony is that, even if I did die, the hell I would surely be sent to could not possibly be any worse than the bottomless pool of excrement I already paddle around in like some demented, shit-covered walrus. What the fuck is wrong with me? I live in constant terror and that terror informs my every word, thought, and action. What I should really do is just commit suicide. But what can I say?

Rosa DeLauro Is A Fucking Hipster Sep 24 rosadelauroisafuckinghipster: "Bitch, I been twerkin’ since before Miley Cyrus was Lizzie McGuire or whoever the fuck! PUT DEM ASSES UP and let Alicia bring it home!"(thanks for the video Brett!) jackacid asked: Welcome back. Yeah, but Rosa rolls underground anyways so we don’t care. "Bitch, I been twerkin’ since before Miley Cyrus was Lizzie McGuire or whoever the fuck! (thanks for the video Brett!) Sep 23 "Whitney is a post-feminist cunt." (Thanks Carey!) Jun 06 Let me be clear. Oct 10 "Holy fart! I hope he likes Chromeo!” Sep 06 You who are vile read this blog. Remember, from Politico: “Helwig says the reaction to his site has been positive — which is just as he wants it. Aug 28 "If communism means I get to wear your Ray-Ban Clubmasters too, then sign me the fuck up!" Stratford, CT train station Jul 20 "She’s not lying! Like Boogie Nights times three or something!” Jul 16 “Robocop was the simultaneous perfection & death knell of the high concept film!”

How to write Interactive Fiction for Twitter « total cruft Abandon all hope: 39 ways to die! [Updated with new insights] Growing up, the first taste I had for interactive media was through “Choose Your Own Adventure” books, which ended each scene with a choice that the reader must make. I loved those books. Given that Twitter limits all content to just 140 characters, how could anyone write a meaningful narrative, much less an interactive one? Planning Obviously the story would have to be broken across multiple tweets and linked by shortened URLs. Then, I needed a way to efficiently write and edit in only 140 characters. Chapter One--SPOILERS! I ended every tweet with “ as a placeholder for the link to the next tweet, giving me a mere 122 characters for exposition. Once the story began branching more and more, however, I realized that Google Spreadsheet was not sufficient for giving me an overview of the story. Enter Apple’s Numbers app. Changing Background Images So that’s what I did. Tweeting in Reverse Post Mortem

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