Praise versus Encouragement
Most of us believe that we need to praise our children more. However, there is some controversy regarding this point. If we always reward a child with praise after a task is completed, then the child comes to expect it. However, if praise is not forthcoming, then its absence may be interpreted by the child as failure. One of the main differences between praise and encouragement is that praise often comes paired with a judgment or evaluation, such as "best" or "highest" in these examples. According to Bolton (1979, pg 181): Evaluative praise is the expression of favorable judgment about another person or his behaviors: "Eric, you are such a good boy." According to Ginott (1965): Evaluative praise.....creates anxiety, invites dependency, and evokes defensiveness. According to Taylor (1979): A real life experience, illustrating these principles, was provided by the well know cellist, Gregor Piatigorsky (1965). "Mr. "Bravo! "Splendid! Bewildered, I left the house. Sam: It's scary. Mr. Mr. Mr.
Pixar’s 22 Rules of Storytelling « Aerogramme Writers' Studio
These rules were originally tweeted by Emma Coats, Pixar’s Story Artist. Number 9 on the list – When you’re stuck, make a list of what wouldn’t happen next – is a great one and can apply to writers in all genres. You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.You gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience, not what’s fun to do as a writer. They can be very different.Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about til you’re at the end of it.
HOW DOES NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION WORK?
NVC offers many tools for connecting with others in ways that serve life. Nonviolent Communication can dramatically improve our relationships by helping us focus our attention on: Empathic understanding of others – without compromising our values, and Honest expression of our feelings and needs – without blame or judgment In NVC, we learn to hear difficult messages with compassion and to express ourselves authentically with the help of these four steps: OBSERVATION – what we observe that is affecting our well-being FEELINGS – how we are feeling in relation to what we are observing NEEDS – the values, dreams, and preferences connected to our feelings REQUEST – the concrete, presently doable actions we request in order to respond to our needs and enrich our lives These tools help create dialogue for resolutions that respect everyone. NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION helps -- We encourage you to learn more by reading Marshall’s book: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion.
Neil Gaiman's 8 Rules of Writing
By Maria Popova In the winter of 2010, inspired by Elmore Leonard’s 10 rules of writing published in The New York Times nearly a decade earlier, The Guardian reached out to some of today’s most celebrated authors and asked them to each offer his or her commandments. After Zadie Smith’s 10 rules of writing, here come 8 from the one and only Neil Gaiman: WritePut one word after another. Find the right word, put it down.Finish what you’re writing. For more timeless wisdom on writing, see Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 rules for a great story, David Ogilvy’s 10 no-bullshit tips, Henry Miller’s 11 commandments, Jack Kerouac’s 30 beliefs and techniques, John Steinbeck’s 6 pointers, and Susan Sontag’s synthesized learnings. Image by Kimberly Butler
Empathic Listening
The Benefits of Empathic Listening Empathic listening (also called active listening or reflective listening) is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust. It is an essential skill for third parties and disputants alike, as it enables the listener to receive and accurately interpret the speaker's message, and then provide an appropriate response. The response is an integral part of the listening process and can be critical to the success of a negotiation or mediation. Among its benefits, empathic listening builds trust and respect, enables the disputants to release their emotions, reduces tensions, encourages the surfacing of information, and creates a safe environment that is conducive to collaborative problem solving. Though useful for everyone involved in a conflict, the ability and willingness to listen with empathy is often what sets the mediator apart from others involved in the conflict. "How was I different?" Be attentive.
Turning Writers Into Motherfucking Rock Stars
Oscar Wilde. Ernest Hemingway. Hunter S. Each, a rock star in his own right. Who do we have like that these days? Who else? Stephenie Meyer? We don’t really have anyone. And here’s how we get ‘em. We Need Some Literary Beefs Up In This Hizzy Epic rock star personalities make way for epic rock star beefs. The authorial world demands this. Rappers get rap battles. Erratic Author Appearances You put rock stars in front of people, fucked up shit starts to happen. Authors — c’mon. Intensely Weird Drug Habits No, no, no, I’m not saying you need to get hooked on the current spate of hardcore narcotics. I want to see Neil Gaiman espousing the creative benefits of injecting himself with adrenalin harvested from a live tiger. Some authors will become addicted to licking the hallucinogenic ink off their own books. Authors need their own class of designer drugs to get the attention we so mightily deserve. Need To Start Making Some Rock Star Demands It’s time for authors to get in on this. “Dude. and
Active Listening - Communication Skills Training from MindTools
Hear What People are Really Saying Learn how to hear the whole message by using active listening techniques. Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. For instance: We listen to obtain information. Given all this listening we do, you would think we'd be good at it! Turn it around and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with information, you aren't hearing the whole message either. Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. Tip: Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness . About Active Listening The way to improve your listening skills is to practice "active listening." In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully. To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what he or she is saying. 1. 2. 3.
A Comprehensive and Totally Universal Listing of Every Problem a Story Has Ever Had | Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine
by After hours of something similar to effort, I am pleased to announce that I have assembled the official universal list of all problems that have ever gotten stories kicked out of a slush pile. Zara Baxter and Simon Petrie helped some. These are also kind of in order. In the 95% of every slush pile that gets rejected, Problem 1 is at least ten times more common than Problem 24. PS. 1. Most good fiction doesn’t start in the beginning, it starts in the middle. 2. Telling me that little Johnny is bored is extraordinarily boring. 3. Most corpses don’t do anything, at least not anything that is all that interesting. Corollary 3.1: Dialog is inherently superior to prose. 4. In certain circumstances, some corpses actually do things, but even when they shuffle about the town, dialog really isn’t a strength of the reanimated and writers should always be vigilant patriots in our struggle against the armies of darkness, and the French. 5. Speech is the reflection of a person’s soul. 6. 7. 8. 9.
