How to Be More Charismatic: 10 Tips Some people instantly make us feel important. Some people instantly make us feel special. Some people light up a room just by walking in. We can't always define it, but some people have it: They're naturally charismatic. Unfortunately, natural charisma quickly loses its impact. But some people are remarkably charismatic: They build and maintain great relationships, consistently influence (in a good way) the people around them, consistently make people feel better about themselves--they're the kind of people everyone wants to be around...and wants to be. Fortunately we can, because being remarkably charismatic isn't about our level of success or our presentation skills or how we dress or the image we project--it's about what we do. Here are the 10 habits of remarkably charismatic people: 1. Ask questions. That's all it takes to show the other person they're important. Then when you do speak, don't offer advice unless you're asked. Don't believe me? 2. Because we do: We're all people. 3. 4. 5.
Why Face-To-Face Meetings Are Overrated You know the feeling. Everyone’s sitting around a table, ideas are building on ideas, and intellectual sparks are lighting up the room. It’s tempting to think that this kind of magic only happens when people can see and touch each other. Let’s assume for a second that that’s true: Breakthrough ideas only happen when people are interacting face-to-face. Still, the question remains: How many breakthrough ideas can a company actually digest? Far fewer than you imagine. Given that, you’re only going to frustrate yourself and everyone else if you summon the brain trust too frequently for those "a-ha!" This is why at 37signals we don’t meet in person all that often. But what about those spur-of-the-moment rays of brilliance? By rationing in-person meetings, their stature is elevated to that of a rare treat. Reprinted from the book Remote: Office Not Required by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson.
Keli Goff: The 5 Questions We All Ask That Are Absolutely None of Our Business Last week I ran into one of my TV buddies in a greenroom. I hadn't seen him in nearly a year, since we last appeared on a television program together. We did the sort of catching up that we do with those we haven't seen in a while. Now let me say for the record, that I know that he wasn't. Yet in a society in which every birth announcement is expected to go up on Facebook, with accompanying photo, before a new mother even exits the hospital, and celebrities air their dirty laundry during a breakup via Twitter, boundaries seem to have become a foreign concept. That doesn't mean we have to stop asking them necessarily. Click here to see a few bonus questions. Managing People: What the Best Leaders Do I was struggling to engage the audience. Okay, be honest, I tried not to let it show but I was dying onstage. Maybe I was having an off day. Maybe they were having an off day. Or maybe the fact every one of the 100 people in attendance was a CEO, an executive, or the owner of a medium to large business meant they were way more accustomed to being listened to than they were to listening. So I took a different approach. Throwaway question? That was the point. They would sit and stare and then I would supply an intentionally against-the-grain answer sure to spark some heat and conversation. So I asked the question and then paused to read the room. I was about to speak when a voice broke the silence. "I think I know," a man sitting in the back corner said, somewhat hesitantly. A few heads turned in his direction. Mine did too, because I was a little surprised and a lot concerned. Wait--what? "Can you repeat that?" A number of heads slowly turned in his direction. I stared. Best answer ever.
10 Ways You Should Never Describe Yourself Picture this: You meet someone new. "What do you do?" he asks. "I'm an architect," you say. "Oh, really?" "Maybe," you reply. "Oh wow," he says. And you're off. You sound awesome. Now picture this: You meet someone new. "I'm a passionate, innovative, dynamic provider of architectural services who uses a collaborative approach to create and deliver outstanding customer experiences." And he's off, never to be seen again... because you sound like a pompous ass. Do you--whether on your website, or more likely on social media accounts--describe yourself differently than you do in person? Do you use hacky clichés and overblown superlatives and breathless adjectives? Do you write things about yourself you would never have the nerve to actually say? If so, it's time for a change. Here are some words that are great when used by other people to describe you, but you should never use to describe yourself: "Motivated." "Authority." If you have to say you're an authority, you aren't. "Global provider." "Guru."
What can go wrong when you stay at someone's house Judith Newman explains all the reasons why she would rather stay home than stay with a friend. Judith Newman lists the many ways things can go wrong when you stay with peopleNewman believes she suffers from 'an overabundance of politeness'Newman would rather spend time with friends and family then sleep at a hotel (RealSimple.com) -- "I am leaving," I murmured to my husband. "You cannot leave," he hissed back. "Don't worry. "You cannot do this again! Oh, but it wasn't just the doorknob. Using a turkey to tone your muscles Avoiding travel germs How not to get fat at Thanksgiving The traditions of Thanksgiving RealSimple.com: How to be a good friend Right then I knew only one thing: A doorknob was whispering to me, all Amityville Horror-like: GET. I have never been a good houseguest. But after years of trying very hard to enjoy myself when other people invite me over for the weekend, I've basically given up. Oddly, people don't always see it my way. He is incorrect. People's houses are quiet.
How to Perform Well Under Pressure: 7 Tips You're on stage. Three hundred pairs of eyes are fixed on you. You're killing: Twenty minutes in and the audience is in the palm of your hand. Then your slide show freezes up. Your skin tingles. You fall apart. As Beilock and Carr describe it, "Pressure raises self-consciousness and anxiety about performing correctly, which increases the attention paid to skill processes and their step-by-step control. Or, as those of us less learned describe it, you choke. Still, some how, some way, in the very same situation, other people don't choke. Maybe it's coolness under fire. Wrong. Some people do seem naturally confident and poised under pressure. People like you. How? You panic because you face an uncomfortable situation and you don't know what to do. That's why hanging tough when things go wrong isn't the result of bravery. And that's why the key to maintaining your poise during even the most stressful situations is to gain experience. 1. Run through your demo a number of times. 2. 3. Then... 4.
Business Plans Are a Waste of Time. Here's What to Do Instead If you're taking time to carefully perfect a business plan to help ensure your company's model is sound and that it will be a success--stop. That's the word from William Hsu, c0-founder and managing partner at start-up accelerator MuckerLab. Hsu, who's been both a successful entrepreneur and an executive at AT&T and eBay, says that starting a company is "a career for really irrational people. In all probability, whatever the idea is will fail. With that in mind, he advises: 1. A great team trumps a great idea every time, Hsu says. In either case, having great team members can fill in any areas where the entrepreneur lacks strength, he says. 2. "Whatever hypothesis you have about the market, it's probably wrong by definition," he says. Then, he says, pivot and reconfigure on the basis of that market response. Because of this need to iterate quickly, Hsu advises building an in-house team that will have all the design, technical, and product capabilities you need. 3.
Motivating Employees: Little Ways to Make Their Day Smiles are nice. Cards are nice. Gifts are nice. All the "standards" are nice--and all, at least in part, are somewhat expected. If you really want to make someone's day, do the unexpected. All it takes is a tiny bit of thought and a little effort: Be thoughtful, simply because you can. I pulled into a service bay to get my oil changed. "I know..." When I walked to my car to leave he was just standing up, filthy rags in his hand. "Wow, that's awesome... but you didn't have to do that," I said. "We're not very busy," he shrugged. That was four years ago. Instead of turning idle time into "me time," use your free time to do something nice: Not because you might be expected to, but just because you can. Say something good about something old. I was waiting to talk to the owner and couldn't help but overhear their conversation. The man said, "A few years ago my daughter's fiancée was deployed to Iraq and they decided to move up their wedding. "But you and your folks did. Say who referred you.
How the Rich Get Rich John D. Rockefeller, America's first billionaire, said, "If your only goal is to become rich, you'll never achieve it." Easy for him to say, but his point is well taken: If the only thing you care about is making money, no matter how much money you make it will never be enough. Still, even though we all define and calculate success differently, most of us would like wealth to factor into our equations. To find out how, check out the 400 Individual Tax Returns Reporting the Largest Adjusted Gross Incomes, an annual report issued by the IRS. Granted the IRS Statistics of Income division must be where fun goes to die, as my CPA friend Bill Zumwalt (who forwarded me the report) says. (The latest report is for 2009, which to you and me was a long time ago but to the government is really, really up to date.) In 2009 it took $77.4 million in adjusted gross income to make the top 400. Where it gets interesting is how the top 400 made their money: Obvious conclusions:
8 Habits of Remarkably Successful People I'm fortunate to know a number of remarkably successful people. I've described how these people share a set of specific perspectives and beliefs. They also share a number of habits: 1. Back-up plans can help you sleep easier at night. You'll work a lot harder and a lot longer if your primary plan simply has to work because there is no other option. If somehow the worst does happen (and the "worst" is never as bad as you think) trust that you will find a way to rebound. 2. You can be good with a little effort. But you can't be great--at anything--unless you put in an incredible amount of focused effort. Scratch the surface of any person with rare skills and you'll find a person who has put thousands of hours of effort into developing those skills. There are no shortcuts. So start doing the work now. 3. ...and they work a lot more. Forget the Sheryl Sandberg "I leave every day at 5:30" stories. Better yet, they want to put in lots of time. 4. Conventional wisdom yields conventional results.