The Fear of Hurting the Other and the Inhibition of Self Click here to contact Beverly and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile Even when it is unintended, some people find it intolerable to hurt someone they love. To experience hurting the other can create shame, guilt and strong “I am a bad person” feelings. As a result, we may avoid saying what is on our mind and put aside our own feelings and needs. This inhibiting of the self can be harmful to our relationships and can create the conditions for developing anxiety and depression. Marlene, a 27 year old married woman, came into my therapy office feeling anxious and depressed. What Marlene described to me suggested that she had issues she needed to work on as an individual and that as we did this she would be more able to address the difficulties in her relationship with Ben. While Ben might be particularly subject to feeling hurt or slighted, Marlene’s inability to tolerate hurting Ben and talk with him about these issues, made the relationship difficult. Find the Right Therapist
Sexism, Only This Time About Men : NPR Ombudsman From terrorism to natural disasters, the standard reporting on casualties is often like this by Morning Edition host Steve Inskeep: "First, we go to Gaza," recited Inskeep. "The health ministry there says more than 500 people have been killed – many of them women and children." Why, Larry Kalikow of Warrington, Penn, wrote, were women's lives being singled out? "Are NPR reporters specially trained to promote such flagrant sexism?" he asked. I was brought up short. A 37-year old, San Diego-based advocacy group called the National Coalition for Men, which lists nearly 60 men and women from around the country and the world as board members, advisors and liaisons, recently sent me a study of one month's coverage on All Things Considered. Licht studied the month of February and made several good points, though in going back over many of the same stories, I didn't find anything near a "staggering" bias. A charming story on dating over 50, meanwhile, quoted men and women alike. Hmmm.
Bystander Effect - What is the Bystander Effect What is the Bystander Effect? The term bystander effect refers to the phenomenon in which the greater the number of people present, the less likely people are to help a person in distress. When an emergency situation occurs, observers are more likely to take action if there are few or no other witnesses. In a series of classic studies, researchers Bibb Latane and John Darley (1) found that the amount of time it takes the participant to take action and seek help varies depending on how many other observers are in the room. In one experiment, subjects were placed in one of three treatment conditions: alone in a room, with two other participants or with two confederates who pretended to be normal participants. As the participants sat filling out questionnaires, smoke began to fill the room. Example of the Bystander Effect The most frequently cited example of the bystander effect in introductory psychology textbooks is the brutal murder of a young woman named Catherine "Kitty" Genovese.
Dømt for 140 lovbrudd - i fengselet 31-åringen som soner en dom på seks år forvaring for en brutal voldtekt regnes som den vanskeligste og mest voldelige fangen i norske fengsler for tiden. Han har anket tingrettens dom til Borgarting lagmannsrett. Tilsammen 41 ansatte fra Ila møtte som vitner i rettssaken. En lang rekke av dem gjorde det klart at 31-åringens oppførsel var en stor belastning. Mannen har store deler av tiden på Ila sittet helt isolert, uten kontakt med andre enn fengselsbetjentene. Asker og Bærum tingrett mener omfattende isolering er den mest sannsynlige forklaringen på at den forvaringsdømte har fungert dårligere og dårligere under oppholdet i Ila fengsel og forvaringsanstalt. - Straff fremfor behandling - Det er et paradoks at norsk lovgivning er slik at en mann som er så syk blir kjent strafferettslig tilregnelig, og blir straffet fremfor å få behandling, sier advokat Kirsten Sigmond, 31-åringens forsvarer. Hun la ned påstand om at mannen måtte frifinnes fordi han ikke er strafferettslig tilregnelig.
The 12 Common Archetypes The 12 Common Archetypes By Carl Golden The term "archetype" has its origins in ancient Greek. The root words are archein, which means "original or old"; and typos, which means "pattern, model or type". The psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, used the concept of archetype in his theory of the human psyche. Although there are many different archetypes, Jung defined twelve primary types that symbolize basic human motivations. Most, if not all, people have several archetypes at play in their personality construct; however, one archetype tends to dominate the personality in general. Return Home
At 73, Man Finally Gets Diploma Denied For Defying Segregation : Code Switch Alva Earley shows off his diploma after receiving it from Galesburg Superintendent Bart Arthur. Evan Temchin/Knox College hide caption itoggle caption Evan Temchin/Knox College Alva Earley shows off his diploma after receiving it from Galesburg Superintendent Bart Arthur. Evan Temchin/Knox College There was no pomp and circumstance, no procession with classmates, but on Friday a school district in Illinois finally handed Alva Early his high school diploma — more than five decades after he attended Galesburg High School. In 1959, Galesburg banned Earley from graduating and denied him a diploma after he and other African-Americans had a picnic in a park that was unofficially off-limits to blacks. Earley, now a retired attorney, says he never thought the day would come, but as the Galesburg class of '59 gathered for a reunion this weekend, the school superintendent called Earley forward, dressed in his college gown, to accept his diploma. "He had A's and B's on his report card," Arthur says.
The Psychology of Our Willful Blindness and Why We Ignore the Obvious at Our Peril by Maria Popova How to counter the gradual narrowing of our horizons. “Keep your baby eyes (which are the eyes of genius) on what we don’t know,” pioneering investigative journalist Lincoln Steffens wrote in a beautiful 1926 letter of life-advice to his baby son. And yet the folly of the human condition is precisely that we can’t know what we don’t know — as E.F. Schumacher elegantly put it in his guide for the perplexed, “everything can be seen directly except the eye through which we see.” In Willful Blindness: Why We Ignore the Obvious at Our Peril (public library), serial entrepreneur and author Margaret Heffernan examines the intricate, pervasive cognitive and emotional mechanisms by which we choose, sometimes consciously but mostly not, to remain unseeing in situations where “we could know, and should know, but don’t know because it makes us feel better not to know.” Whether individual or collective, willful blindness doesn’t have a single driver, but many. Donating = Loving
How to turn small talk into smart conversation Imagine almost any situation where two or more people are gathered—a wedding reception, a job interview, two off-duty cops hanging out in a Jacuzzi. What do these situations have in common? Almost all of them involve people trying to talk with each other. But in these very moments where a conversation would enhance an encounter, we often fall short. Or worse, we do a passable job at talking. We stagger through our romantic, professional and social worlds with the goal merely of not crashing, never considering that we might soar. We at What to Talk About headquarters set out to change this. Ask for stories, not answers One way to get beyond small talk is to ask open-ended questions. Instead of . . . Try . . . Break the mirror When small talk stalls out, it’s often due to a phenomenon we call “mirroring.” Mirrored example: James: It’s a beautiful day! See? Non-mirrored example: James: It’s a beautiful day! See? Leapfrog over the expected response Instead of : Ron: How was your flight?
7 Things You Need to Know About Narcissists, From A Psychologist's Perspective Narcissists are everywhere, and they can be incredibly draining and challenging to deal with. Here are 7 things you need to know about narcissists, written from my perspective as a social psychologist and also inspired by my personal experiences with narcissists in my daily life. 1. A Significant Portion of the US Population are Narcissists An estimated 6.2% of the US population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), meaning they meet five or more of the following criteria according to the DSM-V: (as you read these, think about people you may know who might fit with the diagnosis) Many more people do not meet all of the criteria for NPD, but may still exhibit narcissistic personality traits from time to time. 2. Is narcissism an inherited genetic trait? 3. Recent research in psychology shows that narcissism has been on the rise during the last 30 years, especially among young people. 4. 5. 6. Ask Them Questions (Narcissists Like to Talk but not to Listen) 7. Dr.
Carrie Brownstein Spills the Beans on Fred, Feminism, and Fear From riot grrrl trailblazer in the band Sleater-Kinney to sketch comedy genius on Portlandia, Carrie Brownstein has been cranking out pop culture gems since 1994. Here, the Jill-of-all-trades opens up about fame, Fred, and driving traffic to her fave feminist bookstore. By Lisa Butterworth Navy silk top by Wren, wrenstudio.com; Perspex necklace by The Way We Wore, thewaywewore.com The last time I was in the same room with Carrie Brownstein it was 2006, and she was on stage in San Francisco completely shredding on guitar, maniacally shaking her shag hairdo, and singing intensely over her band Sleater-Kinney’s raucous, urgent rock. Today, Brownstein’s in a Los Angeles photo studio and she’s not holding a guitar, but rather a gigantic prop toothbrush. As we chat, seated on a mustard-colored vintage couch at the photo studio, there’s a thoughtfulness to all of her answers. At the time Sleater-Kinney was making music, there was plenty to be upset about.