Rapists Admit Repeated Rapes - As Long As You Don't Call It "Rape"
I think part of this is due to the fact that men experience sex, and life, very differently than women do (obviously-and I'm only speaking about hetero sex here. They've been taught that rape is evil and bad and damaging, and they believe that. But, when they use coercive means to get sex, or even physically overpower a woman, if they haven't done any physical damage they can brush it off as not that big of a deal because to them it was something that lasted a few minutes and it's over and whatever, it was just sex, you're not hurt, where's the big problem? Men really need to be made more aware of the implications and effects of these things on the victim and be taught to recognize their privelleged position in society. I wish I had a good idea on how to make that happen, but I don't.
Meet The Predators |
A huge proportion of the women I know enough to talk with about it have survived an attempted or completed rape. None of them was raped by a stranger who attacked them from behind a bush, hid in the back of her car or any of the other scenarios that fit the social script of stranger rape. Anyone reading this post, in fact, is likely to know that six out of seven rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. It has been clear for a long time, at least since Robin Warshaw’s groundbreaking “I Never Called It Rape,” which used Mary Koss’s reseach, that the stranger rape script did not describe rape as most women experienced it. It’s easy to picture the stranger rapist: a violent criminal, not much different from the violent criminals who commit other violent crimes. This guy was in prison before, and he’ll be back there again, though not for rape because reporting and conviction rates are so low. But who commits the vast majority of rapes, the nonstranger rapes? Lisak & Miller McWhorter
“Nice Guys” Contribute to Rape Culture
Daniel Tosh makes jokes that support rape culture and he’s defended as a “nice guy” while feminists are threatened with rape for pointing it out. Joe Paterno is accused of participating in a cover up of child rape and his “legend” legacy is defended while Sandusky’s victims are slandered. Misconceptions about sexual and domestic violence persist, despite feminists’ best efforts to educate the public. Feminist women have taught me many things. It seems the stereotype of rapists has a counterpart–the stereotype of those who perpetuate and benefit from rape culture. Daniel Tosh tells jokes that trivialize rape and his apologists explain that it’s our fault if we are “offended,” citing free speech as his defense. I’m less interested in the “did he or didn’t he” of this particular example of rape culture perpetuation, more the systemic effect of rape culture on rape victims, and the permissiveness and forgiveness that rape culture brings to guys like Tosh–and me.
Renversement: "Girls will be girls?"
Are sex offenders and lads’ mags using the same language?
Tuesday 6 December 2011 Far from being harmless or ironic fun, lads’ mags could be legitimising hostile sexist attitudes, according to new research. Psychologists from Middlesex University and the University of Surrey found that when presented with descriptions of women taken from lads’ mags, and comments about women made by convicted rapists, most people who took part in the study could not distinguish the source of the quotes. The research due to be published in the British Journal of Psychology also revealed that most men who took part in the study identified themselves more with the language expressed by the convicted rapists. Psychologists presented men between the ages of 18 and 46 with a range of statements taken from magazines and from convicted rapists in the study, and gave the men different information about the source of the quotes. He added that young men should be given credible sex education and not have to rely on lads’ mags as a source of information as they grow up.
I hate Strong Female Characters
I hate Strong Female Characters. As someone spends a fair amount of time complaining on the internet that there aren’t enough female heroes out there, this may seem a strange and out of character thing to say. And of course, I love all sorts of female characters who exhibit great resilience and courage. I love it when Angel asks Buffy what’s left when he takes away her weapons and her friends and she grabs his sword between her palms and says “Me”. In Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I love Zhang Ziyi’s Jen sneering “He is my defeated foe” when asked if she’s related to Chow Yun-Fat's Li Mu Bai. But the phrase “Strong Female Character” has always set my teeth on edge, and so have many of the characters who have so plainly been written to fit the bill. I remember watching Shrek with my mother. “The Princess knew kung-fu! She rolled her eyes. No one ever asks if a male character is “strong”. The obvious thing to say here is that this is because he’s assumed to be “strong” by default. 1. 2.
Aldo Naouri et le viol comme conseil thérapeutique » Zero Impunity
Dans une interview accordée au magazine Elle le 29 mars 2013, Aldo Naouri, pédiatre et écrivain, a tenu les propos suivants : - » ELLE. Dans votre livre, vous évoquez ces mères entièrement dévouées et qui ne font plus l’amour après la naissance de leur bébé. Les propos d’Aldo Naouri ne relèvent pas d’une « opinion légitime » ou d’une proposition thérapeutique recevable, mais d’une infraction au Code pénal. L’article 24 de la loi sur la presse punit en effet de « cinq ans d’emprisonnement et de 45 000 euros d’amende ceux qui (…) auront directement provoqué, dans le cas où cette provocation n’aurait pas été suivie d’effet, à commettre l’une des infractions suivantes : « les atteintes volontaires à la vie, les atteintes volontaires à l’intégrité de la personne et les agressions sexuelles [y compris donc le viol] définies par le livre II du code pénal ». Le ministère public, qui représente les intérêts de la société, peut poursuivre d’office Aldo Naouri. Nous lui demandons d’agir.
Writing About Writing (And Occasionally Some Writing): Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
How being a writer helped me rewrite a sexist trope...for real. [Edit 3 (7/25/13): I speak to some of the more common comments, questions, and criticisms I've recieved in this Mailbox article. Edit 2 (7/18/13): Continue comments at the dedicated entry for the continuation of comments if you want a reply from me.Edit 1 (7/16/13): This post has gone viral and it now accounts for over half the traffic that this blog has ever received since I started it in February of 2012. So a thing happened to me yesterday on the BART as I was coming home from work. You see, as a writer, I am also a reader--a big crazy, prolific-as-shit reader. Could "non-writers" have read all these articles and more? And in reading all these things I've come to be aware of a narrative. It is the narrative of how men hit on women in public places. I saw the heroine of our story sitting on the BART. But still....he tried. He sat right behind her--already a warning sign on such an empty train. It was painful to watch. Yep.
