The OSTRICH Story A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual asks the waitress?" "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" found an old lamp. me two wishes. would always be there."
I Crashed Paris Hilton's Birthday And Accidentally The Whole Cake The 29 Best Charlie Sheen Quotes: The Definitive List from Charlie Sheen Quotes Wow, so this Charlie Sheen quote machine just won't slow down. I think it's safe to say that there's never been a human being in the history of talking human beings who has had so many amazing quotes. So many! That in mind, we thought we'd just start keeping a tally of all his groundbreaking quotables. “I have a disease? Any you think deserve to be up here?
Comic Sans Criminal Artist: Nick Gentry | “Nick Gentry is a British graduate of Central St Martins and has exhibited in the UK, USA and Europe. As part of a generation that grew up surrounded by floppy disks, VHS tapes, polaroids and cassettes, he is inspired by the sociological impact of a new internet culture… …His portraits use a combination of obsolete media formats, making a comment on waste culture, life cycles and identity. Using old disks as a canvas, these artefacts are combined to create photo-fits and identities that may draw connections to the personal information that is then forever locked down underneath the paint… …This has led to an exploration of the ways in which humankind is integrating with technology. I have way too many favourites!
How to Be Annoying Online how to be annoying online 1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. 3. 4. 5. 6. cc: all your e-mail to Al Gore (vice.president@whitehouse.gov) so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet. 7. This article first appeared in Spy, July/August 1994. See also: The Six Dumbest Newsgroups, The Internet is for Losers
Jaw droppin' illustrations by Tiago Hoisel collected by @Nicole | Designerscouch #thecritiquenetwork Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"Witness: "I only have one, you know." Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?" Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?" The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail. Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?" Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?" Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?" Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?" Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?" Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?" Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Incredible macro-photography of people’s eyes He received a PhD in Theoretical Physics from Yerevan State University in 2001 for research in the field of Quantum Chaos and investigations in the field of Quantum Technologies. Yet, Suren Manvelyan is probably best known for his stunning macro-photography. Especially popular is his series of close-ups of human eyes called Your Beautiful Eyes. Otomata 16 Jul 2011 Click on the grid below to add cells, click on cells to change their direction, and press play to listen to your music. Update: Click here to get Otomata for your iPhone / iPod / iPad! Official facebook page: Also this reddit page has many examples: And there is a subreddit for Otomata: Otomata is a generative sequencer. Each alive cell has 4 states: Up, right, down, left. at each cycle, the cells move themselves in the direction of their internal states. This set of rules produces chaotic results in some settings, therefore you can end up with never repeating, gradually evolving sequences. If you encounter something you like, just press “Copy Piece Link” and save it somewhere, or better, share it! Here is something from me to start with: And here is an action video: Here are replies to some common questions: Q: MIDI Output?
21 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photosphopped (Part 8) This is the latest edition of our most popular feature, in which we demonstrate that the truth is stranger than Photoshop. Here are more photos that will make every poster in the comment section scream "FAKE!" but are absolutely real. In case you missed the previous episodes, here's Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, the gritty reboot that doesn't acknowledge the previous editions, Part 6 and Part 7. And now ... #21. Via Buzzhunt.co.uk This looks like a bank of escalators seconds before they were buried under a lava flow, but it's actually one of about a hundred decorated subway stations under Stockholm, Sweden, where the natural bedrock ceiling has been painted. If nothing else, it has to make it a hell of a lot easier to figure out if you're at the right stop. Via Wikimedia Commons"Hmmm ... this has less magma than I remember." #20. Via Forbes Yes, that's a satellite photo, and yes, there really is a gigantic set of connecting canals spelling "HAMAD" in Abu Dhabi. #19. Via Making Of