Donald Trump Has Kept Promise To Make America Grate Again. Report: Best Indicator Of Kickass Party Still Pizza Spinning On Turntable. Exclusive Invention: Chopping Board Games. You like your chopping board?
Good for chopping up carrots, right? But what about board games – we bet you love a bit of Monopoly, yes? Now, imagine what the world would be like if you could combine your chopping board with your board games! Perfection? Yes! Learn to speak Whale. Exclusive Invention: The Frog Machine (better than fog machines) Exclusive Invention: Thimble Dryer (a tumble dryer for thimbles) Are you utterly fed up of your thimble collection remaining wet and obnoxious?
Do you awake each morning and announce: “Golly gosh, I do wish I didn’t have to dry my thimbles again this morning after dribbling all over them whilst unconscious drunk last night. If only there was a contraption available to make this process a tad easier!” Rest assured. FAQs: What is the banana, why is it yellow, and is it dangerous? – Professional Moron. Ah, the banana.
The truth is, not many know much about these curved, but elongated, yellow globules. Where did they come from? Why are they mushy? Exclusive Santa Column: Quantitive & Qualitative Product Delineation (Plus a Clogged Toilet) – Professional Moron. Great, here we go.
Another one of these Santa columns. For the record, we truly regret ever “reaching out” to this guy and offering him the chance to contribute to our website. But… well, there’s nothing we can do about it now. Santa is here to stay. Just remember, at least a good 65.4% of his views probably do not represent those of Professional Moron. Quantitive & Qualitative Product Delineation Our head of brand, Siegfried, has indicated the 10 hottest products Santa will need to focus on this Christmas. FAQs: What is Soup, is it a Drink, or a Foodstuff? – Professional Moron.
Conspiracy Theory Generator - Generator an Original Conspiracy Theory. The US government is operating a Stargate program and that the Iraq War may have been caused because Saddam Hussein had one.
The suicide attack in Pulwama, Kashmir in February 2019 that killed 40 Indian troops was not carried out by Jaish-e-Mohammed militant group, but by the government of India. Bill and Hillary Clinton had 50 or more people murdered, and got off Scot-free. The British government, industry, and intelligence services are conspiring to thwart Scottish independence and rigged the 2014 independence referendum. Monsanto Company is secretly maneuvering to control the world's food supply using GMOs (genetically modified organisms). Which Country Has the Best Flag? Clash / audio experiment / message. Meghan Markle proves she's mastered waving. Man who left Facebook never heard of again. Vimrod. Funny people are more intelligent than their po-faced peers. Albert Einstein attributed his brilliant mind to having a child-like sense of humour.
Indeed, a number of studies have found an association between humour and intelligence. Researchers in Austria recently discovered that funny people, particularly those who enjoy dark humour, have higher IQs than their less funny peers. They argue that it takes both cognitive and emotional ability to process and produce humour. Their analysis shows that funny people have higher verbal and non-verbal intelligence, and they score lower in mood disturbance and aggressiveness. Nation Not Sure How To Describe Mark. Report: Majority Of Time In Pool Spent Urging Others To Enter Pool. NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Far outstripping the amount of time dedicated to swimming or games, a report released Wednesday by researchers at Rutgers University found that the average person in a pool spends the vast majority of their time urging others to enter as well.
“Across demographic groups, we found that an individual will typically spend 80 percent of their time in a pool engaged in various efforts to coax others into joining them in the water,” read the report, noting that roughly half that time is dedicated to making the case that entering the pool will be “fun” or “refreshing” and about a third is allocated toward playful commands or taunts such as “Come on,” “Stop being a baby,” or simply “Just get in already.”
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The proud members of Operations, Engineering, and Security are the space-expendables, the first line of defense, the… well the ones who always get sent down with the away party full of more important characters and get murdered by the space monster of the week. The Null Device. The results of Eurovision 2014 are in, and, as reported here, the big winner was Austria's Conchita Wurst, a bearded drag performer, with a resolute and melodramatic torch song titled Rise Like A Phoenix.
Wurst (whose real name is Tom Neuwirth) won a runaway victory, with 290 points and a string of 12s, including ones from countries who might otherwise haver found a bearded drag performer too transgressive. The runner-up was the Netherlands, 52 points behind with a rather nice piece of slow-burning Americana. Giraffes and Elephants Are Friends Collection #1. Such Weather. Press Office - Charlie and Lola press pack characters. Funk Slogans from The Advertising Slogan Generator. Web > web economy bullshit generator. Corporate B.S. Generator. Toothpaste For Dinner: Daily comics by Drew. VM8246 – Vimrod. Welcome. This site is no longer being updated! YOU'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS OF MY JETPACK. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - Political Comedy - Fake News. Official Site. The Onion - America's Finest News Source.