Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"Witness: "I only have one, you know." Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Thermal Physics Jokes
As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat. For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg.
John Steinbeck on Falling in Love: A 1958 Letter
by Maria Popova “If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.” Nobel laureate John Steinbeck (1902-1968) might be best-known as the author of East of Eden, The Grapes of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men, but he was also a prolific letter-writer. Steinbeck: A Life in Letters constructs an alternative biography of the iconic author through some 850 of his most thoughtful, witty, honest, opinionated, vulnerable, and revealing letters to family, friends, his editor, and a circle of equally well-known and influential public figures. Among his correspondence is this beautiful response to his eldest son Thom’s 1958 letter, in which the teenage boy confesses to have fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan while at boarding school.
Still life: Bent objects
UPDATE: The Return of Bent Objects Wires transform these objects from inanimate to hilarious works of art. Little polish girl McDonalds as Sculpture Materials
Half-Naked Male Stripper Works the Pole on the Subway
Sorry, sweetie. I see I touched a nerve with my comments. Are you a subway dancer? How exciting! Tell me, Matt, at what age did you first begin to lust for the pole?
College Paper
How to write a paper in college/university: 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer. 2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.
My collection of funny emails from my inbox.
Subject: 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Shop / etnies - Action Sports Footwear and Apparel
Marana Vulc Just Released, Check it Out. I get it! Thanks! Shop Featured on etnies.com!
Todd Lamb Notes From Chris Gallery
Welcome to the “ Notes From Chris” gallery. These are notes that I post around New York City from a mysterious man named Chris. Chris wants to do tedious things with people. He also has lots of problems. “ Notes From Chris” is a project started by Todd Lamb in 2008. See a YouTube video of the notes being read on stage in NYC and an interview in the Village Voice . See a video about them on Rocketboom and a selection of them on Funny or Die .
LOTS OF PUNS
...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."
Funny Pictures - Facebook
Some guy gets owned on Facebook! New Pictures added every hour - Published: 2 years, 263 days ago Funny GIFS and Reaction GIF ▬▬► GIFSec.com More Funny Pictures and MEME: Funny GIF - Reaction GIF Browse More Pics
Cow's milk protects against HIV
The HIV-inhibiting antibodies from the milk will be used to develop a microbicide (anti-HIV cream) that can be applied before sex to protect people from HIV. Image: ValentinVolkov/iStockphoto Melbourne researchers have developed cows’ milk that protects human cells from HIV. The milk contains antibodies which defend against human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). The next step will be to develop it into a cream which women can apply to protect themselves from contracting HIV from sexual partners. Melbourne University’s Dr Marit Kramski and colleagues found that using cows to produce HIV-inhibiting antibodies is cheaper than existing methods.
20 Great Websites To Earn Part-time Money While Working In College
There are literally thousands of ways to make money online. They range from affiliate marketing, blogging, domain parking, web designing and many more. But most of them, like any other real world business require time and patience to bring in a decent amount of cash every month. Contrary to the general belief, there is no get-rich-quick scheme online.
So That Happened
Tonight at the supermarket I found myself behind a pretty girl in the checkout line. The universe hates me. Like this story?
